Relationships do not always end because of betrayal, conflict, or dramatic disagreements. Sometimes, they unravel quietly, with partners growing emotionally distant despite continuing to share a home and a life. Actor-filmmaker Pooja Bhatt recently spoke candidly about her decision to end her marriage with former husband Manish Makhija after more than 11 years together. Addressing assumptions that there must have been a third person involved, she told Vickey Lalwani, “A lot of my friends asked me, ‘You’ve been married for 11 years. Why are you ending the marriage? Is there someone else?’ The answer was no. There was nobody else. I wasn’t even thinking about another person.”DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.Instead, she described a deeper emotional disconnect. “I ended my marriage because I felt lonely in that relationship. When you are living with someone and still feel alone, that relationship has stopped being a relationship. You slowly lose each other while living under the same roof. I told him that our relationship had begun with friendship and trust. I never looked over your shoulder and I never will. But I felt it was over. We had lost each other, and somewhere along the way, I had lost myself as a woman. I wanted myself back. It would have been a lie to continue the marriage, and I cannot live a lie,” she said.Her reflections also touched on personal responsibility and emotional well-being. “I was very clear that I would not spend the rest of my life blaming another person for my unhappiness,” she said, adding that she now feels fulfilled by “the relationship I have with myself.” While she remains open to love, she emphasised that she is not seeking someone to complete her. “I am content. I am open to a relationship, but I am not looking for a solution. I am looking for a companion in the truest sense of the word. If one comes along, wonderful. If not, life is still good.”Another aspect of her experience involved motherhood. Pooja revealed, “One of the reasons I knew my marriage wasn’t working was that I didn’t want to have children. I love children, but the desire to become a mother never came. I was working throughout my thirties and had many things I wanted to do. But the feeling of becoming a mother simply wasn’t there. I listened to my body and my instincts.” She also noted that not having children allowed both partners to make decisions based on what felt right for them. “Fortunately, we didn’t have children, so we could think honestly about what was right for us.”Interestingly, she shared that the friendship initially survived the divorce. “Even after our marriage ended, we remained friends because I believed there was mutual respect between us.” However, that connection later faded. “Munish and I don’t speak anymore. We haven’t spoken for a very long time. There was a period when I genuinely thought we were friends. Then the lockdown happened, and I think it changed people in many ways.”Expert on signs of emotional disconnectionCounselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “One thing I have noticed is that emotional disconnection is rarely about the absence of love. More often, it is about the absence of emotional contact. People continue sharing a life, but they stop sharing themselves.”Story continues below this adHe adds that sometimes people realise that the first person they want to call after a difficult day, a personal setback, or even good news is no longer their partner. Not because there is conflict, but because somewhere along the way they stopped expecting to feel understood. Many describe feeling alone despite being in a committed relationship. That kind of loneliness can be particularly painful because, from the outside, nothing appears wrong.When someone starts carrying their emotional life entirely on their own, Raj shares, the relationship may still be functioning, “but it is no longer serving one of its most important psychological roles, which is to provide a sense of connection, comfort, and emotional refuge.”Temporary phase of distance in a long-term relationship vs a deeper loss of connectionMost long-term relationships go through periods of distance. Life has a way of taking centre stage. Work, caregiving responsibilities, parenting, health concerns, and everyday pressures can leave little room for connection.What usually tells us whether it is temporary or something deeper is the emotional experience underneath it. In a temporary phase, people miss each other. They feel the gap. There is still a desire to reconnect, even if they are struggling to find the time or energy. “A deeper disconnection often feels quieter. People begin questioning not only the relationship but also themselves within it. They may find themselves wondering when they became so different from the person they once were. The distress is no longer only about feeling distant from a partner. It is about feeling distant from oneself,” concludes Raj.Story continues below this adDISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.