I think about it a lot now - ignorance is bliss I guess - I think a lot of people don’t really understand death and how complex it can be if they’ve never been close to it or witnessed it. And we witness it and get very close to it in so many different ways in this profession. I think about these experiences and think about people in my own life. Before I was a nurse I took life for granted. But really all I can think about now is how anything can happen at any moment and time is essentially just borrowed. And I think about it everyday for a lot of the day and it’s really starting to affect me. I think one of the big triggering factors that has just made this worse recently was a few months ago I had a patient - severe alcoholism, who passed. I don’t want to go into too much details but I cared for this particular patient and their family a lot and it was nothing short of horrific. My own father is an alcoholic who unfortunately will not seek help. He’s still compensating despite how much drinking he does - but I just know that the end of the line will be at some point. I don’t know if it will be like the patient I had recently, but the possibility is there, and it terrifies me. It’s difficult to explain to my mom that it isn’t as simple as “he just needs to stop”. This patient was like my dad - he refused to listen. Refused to get help. Didn’t want to admit there was a problem. It feels lonely sometimes, knowing what we know. I would never regret my career as a nurse - it’s been one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. I take a lot of pride in the very special and unique ways we get to help people. But I miss who I was before knowing what I know now. Obviously going to go to therapy. But I just wanted to vent. Thanks for reading this farm.   submitted by   /u/Ohyanoforsure [link]   [comments]