Since my last post my wife has moved out. I helped her moved and gave her the money to move into her apartment. She has since paid me back. Over the last two weeks I've been really struggling. Our 10 year anniversary is about a month away. In my previous post I mentioned she wanted to date other people. She went on a date. I got on the dating apps and had dates lined up. Something shifted in me last night. My wife is a person of action. Half measures will never work with her. I shifted my strategy from low-contact boundaries to an aggressive, proactive pursuit of my spouse to save our marriage, rejecting passivity and demanding a clear choice between our relationship and divorce. I am dealing with heavy family and life pressures, including my father’s bone cancer diagnosis and the logistics of selling our marital home. I learned from a conversation with my sister-in-law that my wife felt I hadn't fought for her, shown enough love, or been active enough, which fueled my determination to change. I confronted my wife directly, sent intense messages laying down firm boundaries about exclusivity and our future, and let her know I am not going anywhere. Despite checking phone logs and noticing she spoke with her sister for 30 minutes after I left, I felt an intense surge of adrenaline and a renewed sense of control over my life. We had a raw and exceptionally intense intimate connection last night where she repeatedly said my name, which deeply reinforced my drive. Once we were done I took her phone and called the guy she was seeing and told him to fuck off, deleted his number from her phone, deleted their texts and deleted every call log I could find. We had an 18-minute phone call this morning where we discussed the situation, and though she was upset about me disrupting her other connection and said she wasn't ready for a date yet, I made it clear that dating others is off the table while we are married. I canceled a dinner and movie reservation at The Sapphire that I had planned for next Saturday after she stated she wasn't doing that right now, though I am still looking to balance low contact with showing her my commitment.   submitted by   /u/SuperNurseGuy   to   r/Separation [link]   [comments]