WASHINGTON—Patting themselves on the back for seeing a film that was neither a sequel nor a prequel, the U.S. populace announced Wednesday that they were proud of themselves for watching and enjoying an original movie. “Learning the names of characters I’d never heard of before wasn’t easy, but ultimately I’m glad I did my part to support the arts,” said 34-year-old Darren Mosley of Davenport, IA, echoing the views of moviegoers across the country who braved unfamiliar faces, storylines, and settings to give a film seemingly devoid of any preexisting IP a fair shot. “Honestly, I can’t believe I made it through two and a half hours without a single mention of Nick Fury or the Force. But for a movie without a “2” or “3” in the title, this was actually pretty good! It’s too bad studios don’t come out with this sort of fresh, original story more often, because I can totally see myself watching one every five years or so.” At press time, the nation was reportedly devastated to learn that the movie it had just watched was an adaptation of a novel by the same name.The post Nation Proud Of Self For Watching, Enjoying Original Movie appeared first on The Onion.