Rhea Pillai, who began dating tennis player Leander Paes in 2003 and had a daughter, Aiyana, with him in 2005, opened up years later about how strained their bond had become (Source: Agency photo via Express Archives)When a relationship starts to unravel, the emotional toll it takes — especially in the presence of a child — can be immense. Rhea Pillai, who began dating tennis player Leander Paes in 2003 and had a daughter, Aiyana, with him in 2005, opened up years later about how strained their bond had become. By 2012, things had reportedly deteriorated to the point of no return, and their legal conflict became public in 2014 when Rhea accused Leander and his father of emotional, mental, and physical abuse. In an old interview with Mumbai Mirror, Rhea shared, “Nothing was ever hunky dory. I was just saving my marriage for the sake of my child. I had made peace with myself but there came a point when I decided that we needed to separate. His ego couldn’t accept my decision.” She also spoke about the emotional endurance it took to remain in the relationship, and the conflict that followed her decision to walk away. “Yes, Leander locked me out. I’d gone with my child for a birday party. Leader and his mother were running out of the building as I was entering. They even put my clothes in boxes and threw them out. Actually, five people had forcibly broken into my house once before too,” she recalled the aftermath of her decision. What are the psychological consequences of staying in an unhealthy relationship ‘for the sake of a child’?Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder at Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “Staying in a relationship solely for a child can often lead to emotional burnout. While the intent is protective, the outcome can be damaging. Children are highly sensitive to emotional undercurrents and they learn everything from observation. Think of it like this, a child learns to talk and communicate in the first 2-3 years, even before going to a formal schooling. That is observational learning in action. Hence if distorted and emotionally cold relationships are being modeled, that is what the child will learn.”At the core of it is patriarchy and societal conditioning which often discourages women to take stand and rather be supportive and make sacrifices for their family, even to their own peril. For the parent, it often results in chronic stress, emotional numbness, and a loss of personal identity. Over time, this can escalate into depression or anxiety.Why do some individuals react with hostility or manipulation when their partner initiates a separation?When one partner chooses to leave, Arora notes, especially after years of silently accommodating the other, it can deeply challenge the ego of the partner left behind. “For some individuals, particularly those who equate control or dominance with love, a partner’s decision to separate feels like a personal failure or a blow to their perceived superiority.”Beyond ego, there is grief too. This often triggers defensive behaviour: gaslighting, manipulation, or even public blame. “Ego, in this context, is not just about arrogance, it’s a fragile identity structure built on power dynamics. Separation dismantles that illusion of control. For someone who hasn’t done emotional work or faced their insecurities, the loss of this control feels intolerable. And manipulation feels like control again,” Arora explains. Story continues below this adHow can someone in a strained relationship safely navigate the decision to leave?The first step is acknowledging that one’s peace is non-negotiable. “Consulting a therapist can help in validating experiences and creating a safety plan, especially if manipulation, isolation, or subtle threats are involved. Involving family and friends for external support is crucial too,” states Arora.