Imagine going to the spa, expecting a relaxing massage with relief… But instead, you’re given the most painfully deep massage you’ve ever witnessed. That’s what reviewing clit suckers has felt like 50% of the time, because some brands just don’t get it right. Like, was this designed to jackhammer my clit? Or sensually suck me off? About 2 years ago, the Womanizer Next Pleasure Air Clitoral Stimulator dropped, and I’ve been hoping to review but admittedly, the price has been deterring me. Well, we finally copped, and I was dying to put it to the test because of one anonymous review that stated this was the most realistic clit suction toy they’d ever used. Oh, and it’s allegedly whisper-quiet, which every brand looooves to brag about, but rarely ever achieves.If you’re wondering if you’re two steps away from Dead Vagina Syndrome (a.k.a. buzzing your clit into numbness), you might enjoy this tidbit. Apparently, it starts off with a lower setting than most Womanizer toys and rises to an even higher level, too. It uses special tech called Climax Control that works like cruise control for your car—but for your climaxing. This, paired with 14 intensities, had me sat.If you’re unfamiliar with the clit sucker hype and confused at my enthusiasm, here’s the tea. Womanizer created air technology that feels like suction on the clit. The thing is, with each new toy they release, the better the tech feels on the clit. The Next is allegedly the “next level” of orgasm, so… obvi we’ve been eager. TL;DR – My Quick VerdictIts intensity is the selling point. The ability to get a gradual increase in stimulation so you don’t nut too quickly or overstimulate? Top tier. The Womanizer Next is one of those sex toys that will do it all if you love and only need clit stimulation. If you need a little penetration, this won’t get the job done, but it’ll still take you on a lil spin. I’ve felt every major brand’s clit suckers on me, and I can assure you this was next level. It also feels very soft, like a very nice hotel’s linens. (opens in a new window)WomanizerNext(opens in a new window)$229 at Adam & EveBuy Now(opens in a new window)How I Tested the Womanizer NextRecently, I’ve been ditching the porn because the ads are fucking asanine and kill my mood. Also, my favorite ebony porn Twitter page got banned, sooooo, yeah, just straight kinky thoughts for this solo sex session. (Although this toy is so stimulating, it locked me in). I tested this against the Womanizer Premium 2, Enhance, and Rose Toy. Each of these experiments was on a different day, and after testing Next for the second time today, I can confirm it hit just as well as the first time. I also started with a full charge to see how long it’d last me. (Spoilers up next!!! Each solo sex sesh was under an hour, and I haven’t charged since first use. I also used it on my nipples as I’ve been in a nipplegasm mood lately. But nipple play was after I’d already nutted and wanted more and wasn’t ready to let Next go). Cruise Control, But For My Clit = 10/10Before we dive in, can I just say how joyful I feel right now? You know how, when you have such good sex, you wake up the next day and start greeting the neighbors all jolly and whatnot? That’s how I feel right now. First thoughts when opening the Womanizer: Next is its super soft, and the sage colorway is so fucking pretty. I got the sage colorway. As you can imagine, the button set up was a bit to navigate at first, so instead of diving right into customizing the process, I gave it a good ole regular spin. Now, the suction definitely feels better than any Womanizer toy I’ve tried (I’ve tried them all). According to the manual, this has a little to do with the Climax Control feature that gives you three suction levels with three different intensities. Imagine this: you have three lovers, and they each have three reeeeeally good techniques in their “oral sex” back pocket. The Climax Control feature makes each level deeper and varied, instead of just a harder buzz like other brands do. I honestly just played with the second suction level (all three levels within that level) for a while and got lost in it. Then I quickly realized I was about to nut off of one setting and honestly got kind of embarrassed, but was feeling too good to truly give a fuck.Here’s the thing, though, Climax Control (say that 5x fast) also makes each intensity change gradual. The same way a car rides smoothly on cruise control, this setting slowly and smoothly takes you to your climax. Because this toy packs in a ton of high-tech features, you’ll probably need to spend five minutes with the manual before diving in. There are a lot of settings to cycle through, and figuring out how to get where you want to go can feel a little overwhelming at first. If that already sounds exhausting, you may be better off with a simpler toy that only has one button.What I did genuinely love, though, was the Cruise Control feature. It added a more consistent, hands-free feel to the experience and made the intensity changes feel smoother instead of abrupt. Also, it is 100% whisper-quiet. The only way you’d hear this is if your ear was right next to my vagina. Some vibrators get louder as you layer in more vibration patterns (aka raise the settings). This stays quiet. (opens in a new window)WomanizerNext(opens in a new window)$229 at Adam & EveBuy Now(opens in a new window)Womanizer Next at a GlanceThis is best for luxury and clit stimmy lovers. If you’re willing to pay for quality, this is the quality you should pay for IMO. Why? I’ve reviewed every Womanizer clit stimulator and dozens more on the market. If you’re worried about the kids or your roomie hearing you buzz yourself into oblivion, there’s none of that here. It’s very quiet and also stops the second you pull it away from your clit. Even seasoned sex toy users will enjoy this. Not to suck Womanizer’s dick, but there’s actually not another toy out there that feels like level 2’s level 2. (Because it literally has that many layers!!!)How Clit Suckers Work Fun fact: Womanizer is the brand that created mainstream suction technology. The name’s rather unsexy but it’s called patented air pulse technology that feels like sucking on the clit. So, the OG’s elevating their own feature with deeper sucking feels like a major treat, especially since it doesn’t overstimulate (well, me at least). As we unpacked recently, so many people on the internet are worried about Dead Vagina Syndrome. Can the clit go numb from too much pleasure? Well, the experts say yes but it’d take an extreme sport level of buzzing to reach that point. The Climax Control feature in this can help you rest (and fuck) assured. To get you off, the Womanizer Next uses air pulses (but only when it touches your clit) to stimulate your clit and encourage blood flow. That slow rise in between settings mimics your lover’s mouth, and honestly, with its deeper settings, Next might do better than they can, too. (No shade). Some people, however, struggle to get the right suction from the toy’s head. Sometimes, this is due to the suction head being too small, and in rarer cases, too big. If this applies to you, the Next has two suction heads – small and medium. My Bottom LineI tested this against several toys, specifically the Womanizer Premium 2, Enhance, and Rose Toy. Did climax control really make a difference? Yes. Are the intensity levels worth the $220 price tag? Fuck yes. This is absolutely worth the price. If I’ve learned anything from being a kinky shopper, it’s that pricey doesn’t always mean high quality. In this case, the price is worth it. Literally no notes on how intense Next is. That orgasm literally made me giddy. The whisper-quiet function was also actually whisper-quiet. I can’t tell you how many products claim to be super silent, and I can step outside of my room and STILL hear them. Not with Next.Frankly, if mine broke after years of use this good, I’d buy it again.(opens in a new window)WomanizerNext(opens in a new window)$229 at Adam & EveBuy Now(opens in a new window)The post This Sex Toy Basically Has ‘Cruise Control’ For Your Pleasure Center appeared first on VICE.