I'm sorry to hear your disability impacts you so much in these ways. I feel that, in some sense, I am competent to do this for my mother-in-law, and I do clean up for sure. But I prefer spending the money to have a trained person bathe her, who is vetted and whom she likes. With our previous company (who were fuck-ups generally) she worried that if she wanted to change, someone would have hurt feelings. I explained from the start to the new company that it was important that she be able to say, 'I'd prefer someone else,' for whatever reason or no reason, and they will change her carer.