((hugs)) It *does* improve. I mean...it can. I have multiple kids and a few bonus kids... what no one ever tells you is that NO TWO KIDS will have the same parents. Doesn't matter if you're happily married and the parents involved are the same exact people... your kids will perceive you both differently and you will make micro-adjustments in your style/approach to meet your kid as an individual and then just when you think you're dialed in to what your child needs... they grow and change. Like you, I love being a parent and I love my kids. The joy they brought was immeasurable. But, it was never, ever easy and I see you. I have grandkids now and there are so many places where I look back and think, "I should've done that different with my kids" because my kids are doing it better than I did.