On September 11, 2001, as the World Trade Centre Towers in New York came crashing down, so did the world of the Sodhi family.In the anger following one of the deadliest terror attacks the world has seen, people wearing turbans – mistakenly linked to al-Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden – became targets of racist assaults. One of them was Balbir Singh Sodhi, 49, who was shot dead outside his gas station in Mesa, Arizona, on September 15, 2001, becoming the first Sikh victim of the hate crimes.Sometime in 2013-14, the Sodhi family made the first overture to the man who shot Balbir five times, Frank Roque. Finally, in a 2016 phone call with a repentant Roque, in jail, they “forgave” him, “for his and our own peace”. There were tears on both sides. People from all faiths – Sikhs, Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians – led by local Mayor Mark Freeman and city council member Rich Adams, were present. (Special arrangement)The same sentiment prevailed this September 15 when, to mark 25 years of Balbir’s death, the local community of Mesa gathered to pay their homage. People from all faiths – Sikhs, Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians – led by local Mayor Mark Freeman and city council member Rich Adams, were present, Balbir’s brother Rana Singh Sodhi told The Indian Express. “Ardaas (prayers) was held not just for the hate violence victims but for all who died on 9/11.”Balbir was one among eight brothers, with Rana, now 60, the youngest. Two of the brothers are dead, four including Rana are in the US, while two still live in India. Balbir arrived in the US in 1988. His wife Harjinder Kaur and three sons live in the US, while two daughters are married and live in Canada and India, respectively. The family, which has its roots in Nadala of Punjab’s Kapurthala district, owns multiple gas stations and restaurants in the US. Local community of Mesa gathered to pay their homage to Sodhi. (Special Arrangement)Says Rana: “Every year on his (Balbir’s) death, we organise small events. This time, to mark the 25th, we coordinated with several organisations working on spreading awareness about the Sikh community to reduce hate crimes, including The Revolutionary Love, the Sikh Coalition, the National Sikh Campaign.”Story continues below this adSpeaking about the attack on Balbir, in the US Congress on September 15, Greg Stanton, an elected representative from Arizona, said: “He was the very first victim of a hate crime after 9/11. He was murdered because of the colour of his skin and the turban he wore… But in the years since, Arizona’s Sikh community has transformed that tragedy into something greater: a call for peace, for understanding, for unity, forgiveness….”Rana recalls that in the days after 9/11, as reports of hate crimes spread, the Sikh community had got threats. “People came to our gas stations and warned we would be shot; others told us to ‘Go back to your country’.”A decision was taken by the Sikh community to call the local media and explain who the Sikhs were, and how they had no connection to bin Laden. It was to happen on the coming Sunday. “On Saturday, my brother was shot,” Rana says, his voice quivering.Just 30 minutes earlier, he and Balbir had spoken. “Everyone was putting up the US flag at the time to show their solidarity. He asked me to get one for him from Phoenix, where I live,” says Rana.Story continues below this adWhile there is no official data on attacks on Sikhs post-9/11, some organizations who collected such information put the number of those killed from South Asian communities at about 20. Balbir’s killing stood out for being the first.Around the time of Balbir’s 13th death anniversary, Rana says, he ran into Roque’s wife and daughter at a store where he had gone to buy flowers for his memorial. He could not place them at first, he says. “I even asked them if they were customers at my Indian restaurant. But they said they never had Indian food… As I was leaving, something clicked. I remembered seeing them during the court proceedings.”Rana went back and struck up a conversation, telling Roque’s daughter about what had happened. “I then invited them to come for the memorial that day. They refused, but told Roque about our meeting, how I was very polite to them.”In 2016, Valarie Kaur, who runs the Revolutionary Love Project, approached Rana to ask if he would like to speak to Roque.Story continues below this adOn September 16, 2016, the phone call took place, with Rana and Kaur at one end and Roque at the other, joining from prison. “He defended himself at first and said 9/11 broke him as an American. But, he said, his daughter had told him how I was kind to her, and said he was grateful. And then came the apology. He said he was sorry for what he did. He said he was a heart patient, and if he died, he would ask God to let him see my brother, hug him and ask for forgiveness… We both broke down,” Rana says.Former Iraq ambassador to UN writes | 25 years after 9/11, who really won the War on Terror?“That was the moment of peace and closure for us, for him… My sister-in-law (Balbir’s wife) did not want revenge… I told him we had already forgiven him.”While Roque was initially given the death sentence by a local court, it was commuted to life by the Supreme Court. “He promised me that if he came out on parole, he would visit schools, churches with me and educate Americans about Sikhs. But, he died in prison in 2022,” says Rana. “He could die in peace.”In the many years he has been in the US, President Barack Obama stands out for trying to bridge differences between communities, says Rana. “We were invited to the White House by President George W Bush. But Obama supported the Sikh community the most… I think he could relate to us. The Black community also endured the hate that Sikhs got.”Story continues below this adAt the same time, the tragedy showed that things could change, Rana says. “After my brother’s killing, we got so much love and respect. At least 300 people sat through the night at the gas station (on the day of the killing).”The Sodhis have tried to stay in touch with Roque’s family, inviting his wife and daughter to the memorial for Balbir every year. “We mail them, though there’s no response. But, if Frank’s heart changed, that of others can change too.”