I worked bedside for 20 years in mostly general population hospitals. I feel like it's impossible to be good at bedside care and not be totally overwhelmed by the expectations. I know all the ins and outs of all the acute care. I've mastered it. But instead of the days getting better, the pressure got worse. More was expected. I went back to school to get my bsn, got certifications, been involved in being the chair of many councils. The burden got heavier as the staff continued to rotate out and the pressures of documentation compliance continued to grow. I feel there is no staff to support me, but they want me to support them as the Sr. Nurse. Most of my team have less than 2 years experience, with the exception of another senior nurse that although he has a great personality, he's the laziest son of a bitch you can work with, and a second one that has checked out and does only minimal expectations. They put me in charge but I'm constantly pulled to take patients. I still end up constantly getting involved in other issues. I call whoever is not doing their job and get things done, I kick out aggressive visitors and assist in unusual care barriers. I love my new nurses and know they need the support. But then they get comfortable and leave telemetry to go to the specialties so the learning curve is an endless cycle of new faces. I thought... Well, let me get a leadership job. My resume is the best it will get. The staff trusts me and I know this hospital well. I didn't get hired. They'll tell me things like "your documentation needs work" but I'm compliant on all the audits and if I do fall short and get notified I always fix it by the next audit. Silly reasons that don't hold water. They want me to just be a charge nurse. Then one day a cna left one hour in because she lost her voice, there was a no call no show and a when I was trying to follow cauti prevention protocols by suggesting we should bladder scan the patient before considering a foley catheter, the Dr completely flipped out in front of my team. Normally I have very controlled and clam choice words, but I totally imploded. I. Am. Done. I lost my nerve and left home early. I got a text from an old coworker asking me to apply as a hospice liaison for a company that is known to treat their employees well. I applied and immediately got the job It's a 30 grand a year paycut. I hate that the bedside has become impossible. I've worked for unions. They don't help. We don't need more unions, we need deregulation. We need the bureaucracy to get off our backs. We need better support and laws that hold the administrative side accountable if things go wrong. I feel like I have to mourn leaving that part of my career behind me. But I'm done. No money is worth crying driving to and from work. I always heard nursing was an emotional rollercoaster, but I never expected it to be like this. The suffering of people breaks your heart, the nature of the complicated system owned by beuricrates shatters the soul.   submitted by   /u/archmidean_blur [link]   [comments]