As we get older, many of us outgrow certain hobbies, passions, and even people. Naturally, we lose touch with friends through certain life stages, typically with no hard feelings or drama involved. On social media, this experience is commonly referred to as “friendship turnover,” which involves losing old friends and making new ones. While that might sound harsh, it’s a completely normal part of growing up.However, is there such a thing as unhealthy friendship turnover? I spoke with a therapist about the difference between natural friendship turnover and a toxic pattern of constantly replacing friends.What Is Friendship Turnover?Friendship turnover describes the process of losing friends and gaining new ones, but not necessarily “replacing them.”“As we go through the ups and downs of life (i.e., move to a different location, get married, have kids, lose a job, etc.), some of those friends that were once so important in your life will either drift away or fall by the wayside,” Bonnie Lambert, PMHNP-BC, LPC, Board-Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and Licensed Professional Counselor at Crestview Recovery Center, told VICE. “But at the same time, you’ll also meet new people who can provide support, friendship, and other connections … While this may seem like a negative thing, it is really just part of growing and developing as a person.”Many people assume friendship turnover involves intentionally replacing your friends, but the intention typically isn’t the goal. More so, it’s about surrounding yourself with people who are in alignment with you in your current stage of life.Natural Vs. Unhealthy Friendship TurnoverThere’s a major difference between natural friendship turnover and constantly replacing old friends with new ones. The latter is a more concerning pattern, while the former is an entirely normal part of getting older.“While it may be concerning to see a person end one relationship after another—usually due to minor conflicts, disappointments, or simply being vulnerable in their friendship—there is an even greater concern than how many friends you have. There is an even bigger problem with constantly replacing them,” says Lambert. “When you continually replace your friends rather than working through issues that come up, you are never given the opportunity to build trust with others; nor will you learn the repairing skills needed for deeper friendships.”If you notice your friendships are constantly ending with blow-up fights, poor communication, or total indifference on your end, you might want to explore your attachment patterns.“Typically, natural attrition in social circles has a rational explanation (people move on with their lives, experience relocation, etc., but they maintain many other relationships that remain consistent),” Lambert explains. “In contrast, an unhealthy pattern tends to repeat itself. A pattern is unhealthy if you find yourself repeatedly ending friendships over similar issues; when someone gets close to you, he/she pulls back; or virtually all your past friends have negative aspects associated with them.”Be honest with yourself, and communicate openly with your friends when you notice a shift in your connection. Know that naturally growing apart from friends is nothing to be ashamed of, while continuously discarding friends at the drop of a dime raises concerns.The post Is It ‘Friendship Turnover,’ Or Are You Just a Toxic Friend? A Therapist Told Us the Difference. appeared first on VICE.