Samuel B. - stock.adobe.com Countless movies and novels end right as the happy couple finally gets together, leaving the actual day-to-day realities of long-term partnership in the hazy "ever after." But reality can be much different. In a thread on r/AskReddit, redditors agree that building a life with someone involves fewer grand romantic gestures and a lot more compromise, empathy, and chores. 1. The eternal dinner debate The repetitive chore of figuring out a nightly meal together can turn into an exhausting experience. Comment in r/AskReddit “What should we eat this week?” While sitting over a blank shopping list. Repeat every week forever. Comment in r/AskReddit I have been cooking meals for a decade. Tell me why I can only generate like 3 recipes in my head when asked to think of some meals for this week Comment in r/AskReddit When we eat together it is like that. Eating by myself, for some reason I have no issues. Comment in r/AskReddit We figured out to do basically that but keep the variety by having different nights be assigned by ethnicity so we have a Mexican night (could be tacos or burritos or Enchiladas, etc), an Asian night, an Italian night, an American night (burgers, BBQ chicken, ham,etc) a leftovers night, a free for all night & a salad/grill night in the summer or soup/chili night in the winter- helps give structure to meal planning while still giving more variety than just every Tues is tacos 2. Becoming true teammates Between sharing responsibilities, managing schedules, and handling everyday life, couples can start to feel more like coworkers or roommates — and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Comment in r/AskReddit You gotta be able to be good coworkers. Not being able to carry responsibility together will break you Comment in r/AskReddit Preach! My husband and I are friends who really like each other and have a lot in common. We are lovers who are sexually compatible. We are workers together in our household and doing the work of day to day life. We do all of it really well together. We are so damn lucky. Comment in r/AskReddit I am so happy doing yardwork or chores or running errands or making dinner with my husband. It doesn't matter what we are doing - doing it together as a team is great. Comment in r/AskReddit My husband and I are usually on the same page. We teamwork all the time. If we mess up, we jokingly say “We are no longer an effective team” lol (It’s from Live, Die, Repeat or Edge of Tomorrow movie). 3. Navigating different cleaning habits Early in a relationship, everyone puts their best foot forward, but over time, varying personal preferences will reveal themselves. Comment in r/AskReddit Some things you thought/hoped they’d grow up out of do not change. Little things can end up driving you nuts after years. Living styles and prefs are hugely important (cleanness, neatness etc) bc no one wants to be the other person’s maid - it will kill attraction Comment in r/AskReddit > cleanness, neatness etc it was a big day in our household when we worked out that clean is not the same as tidy and one of us cares a lot about clean and the other a lot about tidy 4. Listening to truly uneventful stories Being an enthusiastic audience for minor workplace drama or random updates can sound boring to some, but it's actually an important act of affection. Comment in r/AskReddit You will have to listen to a lot of stories about their work day, most of which are not in any way interesting, and say, "Wow, I can't believe [person] did that" because the boring details of their life deserve to be heard by someone. Comment in r/AskReddit I love this, my partner never told anyone about his day because he thought he’d bore them, and every day I’m so damn happy to hear about it, he says it’s boring, but to me he isn’t boring, his way of thinking isn’t boring and I love hearing about his “boring” work day! His coworkers are also so gossipy (all men!) and I love hearing the drama too! 😁🤣 I know everything about them and I’ve only met two of them! 5. Letting go of the perfect split The notion that every successful relationship is a balanced equation is mostly a myth, and constantly tallying up "who did what and how much" often leads to disharmony. Comment in r/AskReddit Everyone is hung up on 50/50 ignoring the fact that sometimes relationships are going to be 70/30, 60/40 etc and who is taking and giving will change hands often. Comment in r/AskReddit The toughest thing about this, also, is you can't always really expect it to come around to being 50/50. With a boyfriend/girlfriend sure but marriage to me is accepting that if it comes down to it you'll still be there "in sickness"; if they become chronically ill and can never fulfill that 50% again... nobody wants that to happen but nobody wants to be abandoned either. That said of course there is some nuance. They might also just be a selfish person. Hard to tell from the beginning. 6. Confronting the uncomfortable stuff Addressing minor annoyances and hurt feelings prevents small misunderstandings from morphing into resentment. Comment in r/AskReddit Having uncomfortable and real conversation right when things come up. I find things get swept under the rug and resentments build. Any conversation not being had will be owed with interest at a later date. Comment in r/AskReddit Well, and the opposite. Constantly litigating everything and unable to be cool about the small stuff is a problem too. 7. Simply not liking each other sometimes In long-term relationships, experiencing periods where a partner gets on your absolute last nerve simply signals a momentary need for space or reconnection. Comment in r/AskReddit Sometimes you won’t like each other. It doesn’t mean it’s over. You just need to find new ways to reconnect. Also, you’re probably just really tired. Comment in r/AskReddit You won't always like each other. Some days you choose the relationship anyway, and that's normal. Comment in r/AskReddit Yes! Over the course of a long marriage you might fall in and out of love a few times. But even in times when you don't like your partner very much, being kind and respectful and choosing each other is a choice. The truth is, long-term love is built on grocery runs, splitting bills, tough conversations, and the million tiny decisions that keep a life together. What do you think is the hardest truth to accept when spending your life with a romantic partner? Read the full discussion in r/AskReddit, and find more conversations like this in r/Marriage, r/relationships, and r/CasualConversation. This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.