Suchitra Krishnamoorthi discussed co-parenting on a podcast. (Source: Express Photo by Aaron Harris)Co-parenting after separation or divorce often comes with a unique set of challenges. Recent comments by actor Suchitra Krishnamoorthi about raising her daughter with ex-husband Shekhar Kapur have once again brought attention to the different roles separated parents may naturally or intentionally adopt, and what that means for a child’s emotional development.DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.Speaking on the Rediff Originals podcast, Suchitra stressed that co-parenting works best when separated parents can remain amicable, saying that it is in a child’s best interests to receive love and support from both parents. She also noted that mothers and fathers each bring something different to parenting, adding that children who have both parents actively involved are fortunate. Reflecting on her own parenting dynamic, she shared, “He’s the good cop. I’m the responsible one. I’m the full-time mum, and he’s the holiday dad. Co-parenting comes with a lot of responsibility.” She also spoke about consciously choosing a different parenting approach from the one she experienced growing up, saying, “I had very strict parents. I always wanted to become the kindest mother in the world. Once Kaveri told me, ‘Mama, all the other mothers say no. You’re the only one who says yes to everything. You need to learn to say no.'”While every family has its own dynamics, Suchitra’s remarks raise broader questions about how co-parenting arrangements influence children, how parents can avoid falling into rigid ‘good cop-bad cop’ roles, and whether being overly permissive or overly strict has long-term consequences. We asked an expert to explain what healthy co-parenting looks like and how separated parents can support their child’s emotional well-being.The ‘fun’ parent vs the ‘responsible’ parentSonal Khangarot, counsellor and psychotherapist at The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “This dynamic is relatively common in separated families, particularly when one parent manages the daily routines, discipline, school responsibilities and emotional labour, while the other has less frequent contact and therefore focuses more on enjoyable, recreational time. However, it is important to remember that children need both connection and consistency. If one parent is consistently experienced as the ‘fun’ parent and the other as the ‘responsible’ or ‘strict’ parent, children may begin to idealise one parent and resent the other, especially when they do not understand the invisible work involved in caregiving.”Over time, she adds, this can create loyalty conflicts, guilt or pressure to take sides. The primary caregiver may also experience burnout and feel undermined, while the “fun” parent may unintentionally become associated with avoidance of boundaries. The healthiest co-parenting involves shared responsibility, consistent expectations and space for both parents to be nurturing and enjoyable. Children benefit most when parents avoid competing for their affection and instead work as a cooperative team, even when they are no longer partners.Finding the balance between warmth and discipline“Yes, parenting styles can sometimes swing to the opposite extreme after difficult childhood experiences,” reveals Khangarot, adding that parents who grew up with excessive control, criticism or emotional rigidity may consciously decide, ‘My child will never experience what I did.’ While this intention is loving, it can sometimes lead to over-permissiveness, difficulty saying no or guilt around setting limits.Story continues below this adShe mentions that healthy parenting is not about being the opposite of one’s parents; it is about becoming intentional. Warmth and boundaries are not opposites. Children need emotional safety, validation and affection, but they also need predictable limits to develop self-regulation, responsibility and an understanding of consequences.“The goal is authoritative parenting: high warmth combined with appropriate structure. Parents can regularly ask themselves whether a decision is based on the child’s genuine needs or their own unresolved childhood experiences. Therapy, reflection and co-parenting conversations can help parents respond from their values rather than react against their past,” says the expert.Building a healthy co-parenting relationshipQuick QuizSee if you can answer this:What is the foundation of successful co-parenting after separation?A. Both parents must have identical parenting styles and routines.Story continues below this adB. Children should act as messengers to keep both parents informed.C. Parents should agree on key rules, communicate respectfully, keep children out of conflicts and reassure them that they are loved by both parents.D. One parent should make all important parenting decisions to avoid disagreements.Reveal the answer✅ Correct answer: CKhangarot states that healthy co-parenting is built on consistency, respectful communication and keeping the child’s wellbeing at the centre. Parents should agree on core rules, communicate directly rather than through the child, avoid exposing children to conflict and reassure them that the separation is not their fault. Predictable routines, emotional support and the freedom to love both parents help children adjust more confidently.Story continues below this adDISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.