There was an era when it was believed that the wedding of a female actor signalled her retirement from the movies. One could call it the social custom of the times, or, if they could be really blunt, they would call out the orthodox nature of our patriarchal society. Keeping this in mind, it is rather curious to see actor Saira Banu, and not because she defied social customs and had a long, fulfilling career that wasn’t dependent on her marital status, but because she embraced her identity as ‘Dilip Kumar’s wife’, and was actually quite proud of the relationship that she nurtured with her husband. Saira dedicated her life to being Dilip Kumar’s partner, and left no stone unturned in supporting him, in sickness, health, and even at a time when he married someone else behind her back.Saira fell in love when she met Dilip Kumar at the age of 12, he was 34Saira made her debut in the movies in 1961 with the superhit film Junglee. Even though she was the daughter of a famous film actor, Naseem Banu, being a star in the movies wasn’t her childhood dream. During her innocent adolescent years, she had dreamed of marrying the superstar Dilip Kumar, who was 22 years older than her. This was a childish dream of a young girl who hadn’t experienced the world. Even when she met Dilip Kumar as a 12-year-old, on the set of Mughal-E-Azam, the dream persisted and she actually believed that she had fallen in love with him. “While still a teenager, I wanted to be his wife,” she once told Subhash K Jha in an interview.ALSO READ | Raj Kapoor once ‘hit’ Dilip Kumar on a film set; rivals who ‘hated to see each other fail’ Saira Banu was 12 when she first met Dilip Kumar. (Photo: Express Archives)Lo and behold, a decade later, she actually married him. What made him marry a girl who was 22 years younger than him is a discussion for another day, but Saira had one goal, and for her, this was it. He was a mature man who had been in and out of love a few times, lived through fame and success, had experienced all the luxuries money could buy, but she was a starry-eyed girl who could never forget that they had first met when he was dating his co-actor on K Asif’s magnum opus.Such was her fascination for him that even years after their marriage, she saw him and her as characters of George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion. Him being the Professor, who could mould her, and she being Eliza Doolittle, who could go through this transformation. She told Filmfare in 2024, “I always wanted to do it with Dilip saab and I wanted it to be my first movie with him. I would have loved to have played Eliza Doolittle to his Professor Henry Higgins.” The first film they did together was the 1970 film, Gopi.Saira accepted ‘hostile atmosphere’ at Dilip Kumar’s homeSaira was 22 when she married 44-year-old Dilip, and she was ready to make any sacrifices needed to keep the marriage afloat. During those early years of marriage, she put up with some “hostile atmosphere” at his home that took a toll on her health. Dilip had warned her that his sisters were used to the fact that they enjoyed sole right on him, and would find it uncomfortable if he married anyone. “I went on to tell her that it was inevitable that ‘Main saatve aasmaan ki hoor bhi laaoonga, toh usey accept nahin kar payegi meri family’ (Even if I bring a celestial angel from the seventh heaven, my family will not be able to accept her),” he said in his autobiography Dilip Kumar: The Substance and the Shadow. Dilip Kumar and Saira Banu had a 55-year-long marriage and like most marriages, it wasn’t perfect. (Photo: Express Archives)ALSO READ | Decades before cancel culture, Madhubala survived an orchestrated smear campaign with a loaded gun and armed guardsStory continues below this adShe faced “resentment” from his sisters and would sometimes return to her parents’ home, which was across the road, when she had to get ready for early morning shoots. But through it all, she never complained to her husband, even after she fell ill because of the “emotional stress” that was being inflicted on her. A few years later, Saira and Dilip lost a baby in the eighth month of pregnancy. Years later, when she was asked about not having children, she said, “I don’t miss having a child because saab is like a child at heart.”Saira accepted Dilip when he married another woman secretlyIn 1982, when Dilip got married to a woman named Asma Rehman, it came as a huge shock to Saira, and while she has never spoken about it herself, Dilip shared his version of the story wherein he said that he could never “forgive” himself for hurting Saira. Describing it as a “grave mistake”, he admitted that he had previously promised Saira’s family that he would never marry again. But, despite it all, she chose to stand by him. Dilip Kumar married Asma Rehman in 1982. (Photo: Express Archives, ITMB Shows/YouTube)A few years later, Saira gave up her career, and she said that she did it because she wanted to be present for her husband. “Looking after saab, his life and his home comes naturally to me. He never asked me to give up my career. In fact, he encouraged me to continue acting after marriage. But after a while, my heart was not in my career. I just wanted to take care of saab,” she told Jha in an earlier chat.‘Out of love, not duress’Saira saw herself as the chosen one, as in the same chat, she had said, “He could have married anyone, any woman he wanted. He chose me. I consider myself very fortunate.” She even believed that one needed to have “some caliber” to be Dilip Kumar’s wife, and perhaps, she had it, which is why he chose her.Story continues below this adThey were married for 55 years, and towards the end of his life in 2021, she was still being asked questions about being a devoted wife to a superstar husband. “It is out of love and not duress that I look after Dilip saab. I am not looking for praises to be called a devoted wife. I adore him, and he is my breath itself,” she told The Times of India in 2022.Dilip Kumar passed away in 2021 at 98.