I’m not a snobby killjoy. I can enjoy a great Jason Statham “beat ‘em up” as much as anyone else. I love a good popcorn-chomping action flick, but Statham’s latest, Mutiny, which hits theaters this weekend as part of the 2026 movie schedule, had me fighting to hold in the laughter more than anything else. The action is great, of course, but the plot, dialogue, and total lack of character development were something to behold. And I don’t mean that in a good way. (Image credit: Lionsgate)The Movie Isn’t Ridiculous, It’s IncredulousMutiny is basically Die Hard on a boat, right down to Statham’s character, Cole Reed, crawling through an HVAC pipe lit only with a Zippo. Don’t get me wrong, it has none of the charm of Die Hard, and as it went on, I got more and more annoyed with how lousy the plot played out. It started fine enough, pretty much like any Statham action movie. Cole is a bodyguard to a rich shipping magnate who has become like a father figure to him. The two are ambushed by unknown assailants in Bangkok, and the magnate is murdered, with the blame being laid on Cole. Standard, but hey, we’re all here to see Statham kick some ass, so whatever, get there however you need to. From there, it just gets sillier and sillier as Cole finds out one of the dead assailants worked for the shipping company. Luckily, the dead guy looks remarkably like Cole. That’s lucky! Cole takes his ID and boards the ship the dead guy was supposed to be on, and there you have it. Die Hard on a boat. An uninvited and unexpected party guest is there to put a crimp in the criminals' plans. The crime...human trafficking, of course. Wait, what? I thought this was a revenge story. Oh boy, here we go. Packing on the insanity. Oh, and there is a woman on the ship whom we're supposed to feel sympathy for because she feels bad about being a terrible mother. Another twist with no payoff. (Image credit: Lionsgate)The Character Motivations Are Barely Even Waved AtI don’t go into a movie like this expecting a deep character study that explores the deep motivations of someone like Cole, but I do need something. Cole’s motivations are clear enough, but every other character in the movie is treated with such a minor hand-wave that it’s impossible to feel anything for any of them, good or bad. I just kept getting more and more annoyed at every hand wave setting up the next scene. I was locked in hand-to-hand combat with this movie, and no one was winning. I certainly wasn’t winning, even in the fun action sequences and fistfights. My eyes would roll so hard at whatever thin motivation was given for every action that I couldn’t even enjoy the whole reason I was sitting in the theater. I’m not asking for a lot, but give me something, anything to care about. The baddies are the most basic of rogues, all a little swarthy and a little bedraggled, but without motivation. The captain of the ship is a weak final boss, and the motivation for the crime boss who sets the whole thing in motion is so underdeveloped, I found myself just rooting for the end of the movie, rather than for the hero. I haven’t even gotten into the bits about the twist involving the US Navy and how they get involved in this debased caper. I’ll have to save that insanity for a different day.