Hey everyone, I honestly don't even know where to start, but I am completely breaking down and need some outside perspective. For context, my boyfriend and I have a very intense attachment. We were basically on call 24/7, meeting up every day, sleeping, eating, showering, doing everything together. Recently, he went on a short 3-day family vacation, which already caused me a lot of anxiety, but the real nightmare started right after when he left for the army. Before he left, he dropped a massive bomb on me and admitted he lied about key details because he was scared I would leave him. He originally told me his service would be about a year and a half. Right before leaving, he admitted it’s actually three whole years. First he told me he won’t change his deployment and he will have his phone an hour everyday for a month for training and then he’ll have it more. Then he told me he might change it but if he does it’s js a week and he’ll either get a punishment? Or get sent home. Then he told me he's going into isolation for the first two weeks to change his deployment, meaning zero contact. After that, he’ll barely have his phone (maybe less than an hour a day), and weekend leave isn't happening for now. He also failed to mention that there are girls/females serving with him, which wouldn't be a big deal if he hasn't been yapping all about how it’s gonna be just him and other men, and he waited until two hours before he had to leave to tell me all of this so we wouldn't have time to properly talk about it. I was already broken cuz he had to leave and we couldn’t even say our goodbyes before that, this just completely broke me, it was like 4am when he told me this and I could barely proceed anything, at that moment I asked him should we just be friends but he denied me and acted all sad and confused. Now he's officially gone, off his phone, and I haven't heard from him since 6h ago. I am a complete wreck. Part of me is grieving because I feel like our relationship realistically won't survive three years of this—by the time he gets out, I'll be in university (20) and he'll be 22, and we'll be completely different people. I'm terrified of wasting my youth waiting, terrified of him cheating or changing, and terrified of being alone. But I'm also dealing with a broken trust because he lied to trap me into staying. I feel so lost, anxious, and can't stop crying. What should I do in this situation? How do I even begin to cope or handle a relationship like this, or is it time to walk away?   submitted by   /u/sad_sad_sadgirl   to   r/Advice [link]   [comments]