Hi everyone. I’m a new grad RN, and I’m hoping to hear from nurses who have been in a similar situation. I graduated nursing school earlier this year and started working on a busy internal medicine unit in July. I’m about three to four months into my first nursing job, and I’ve been struggling more than I ever expected, not just with the work itself, but emotionally and mentally. I knew nursing would be difficult, especially as a new grad. I expected to feel overwhelmed, make mistakes, and question myself sometimes. What I didn’t expect was for the stress to follow me home and affect me so much outside of work. I dread almost every shift. My anxiety often starts before I even arrive at the hospital, and there have been times when I’ve sat in my car in the parking lot feeling terrified to go inside. Even on my days off, I think about my next shift and wish I didn’t have to go back. The unit is extremely busy, and we do a lot of team nursing. I’m naturally quieter and not always the most outspoken person, so I constantly worry about missing something, forgetting to communicate important information, or making a mistake that could affect a patient’s safety. I feel like I’m always second-guessing myself. I also struggle with feeling judged. There are some truly kind nurses who have supported me and taken the time to teach me, and I’m very grateful for them. At the same time, there have been moments when I’ve felt judged for not knowing something. That makes it harder to ask questions or speak up, even though I know those are important parts of learning. I feel like I’ve lost so much of my confidence. I went from being excited to graduate and begin my nursing career to wondering whether I’m even capable of doing this. I’ve cried before shifts, experienced intense anxiety, and called in a few times because I was struggling so much. I feel guilty about that, but I’m also trying to be honest with myself about how difficult this has become. The hardest part is that I don’t think I hate nursing. I think I may hate the environment I’m currently working in. I’m beginning to wonder whether acute bedside nursing, or internal medicine specifically, is the right fit for me. I’ve always been interested in community nursing, outpatient clinics, public health, and roles with more regular Monday-to-Friday hours. I wonder whether a different pace and better work-life balance might help me feel more like myself again. The complication is that I signed a six-month new grad contract that ends in January. Part of me feels like I should stay because there are only a couple of months left. Another part of me wonders whether I should keep forcing myself to stay somewhere that is affecting my mental health this much. I’ve recently reached out to my nursing educators and management to explain how I’ve been feeling and ask whether there might be other opportunities or supports available. I’m trying to take this seriously rather than simply pushing through and hoping it gets better. I feel torn because I don’t want to give up on myself. I see other new grads thriving in this environment, and I wonder why I’m struggling so much. I used to think of myself as resilient, but this experience has made me question that. At the same time, I’m trying to remind myself that needing a different environment doesn’t mean I’m weak or incapable. I know every new grad struggles to some extent, and I don’t expect nursing to be stress-free. I just don’t think it’s healthy to feel this miserable before nearly every shift. I worked very hard for this degree, and I don’t want my first nursing job to make me lose my passion for the profession entirely. I’m hoping there may be a place in nursing where I can learn, contribute, and still feel like myself. For anyone who has been in a similar position, how did you know when a unit or specialty just wasn’t right for you? Did you leave your first nursing job within the first six months, and how did you feel about that decision later? Would you recommend staying until the contract ends, or looking for another opportunity now? Has anyone moved directly into community nursing, public health, or outpatient nursing without much acute-care experience? Did changing specialties or work environments help you enjoy nursing again? I’d really appreciate any honest and compassionate advice, even if it isn’t necessarily what I want to hear. ❤️   submitted by   /u/Playful_Flight_3060 [link]   [comments]