Allergies can be a touchy subject. Most of us know they’re nothing to mess with, and anaphylaxis is certainly no laughing matter. So sure, it makes sense to be empathetic, cautious, and considerate when it comes to something that could quite literally put someone’s life in danger. But sometimes a situation is less clear, raising all sorts of questions. For instance, how far should someone go to accommodate another person’s allergy? What about a coworker’s allergy and what you eat before you’ve even arrived at the office? Or what if you find out that a partner’s allergy—one you’ve been vigilantly avoiding—has less to do with actual medical repercussions and more to do with a food preference?Those are the kinds of conundrums the people in today’s list found themselves chewing on, turning to the AITA community for some insight into who exactly was being unreasonable—or perhaps simply uncompromising—in these situations. Read on and share your verdict in the comments!#1 Aita For Arguing With Someone When He Said I Was Lactose Intolerant And Didn't Have A Dairy AllergySo I have a dairy allergy, I've had it my entire life. When I eat dairy my mouth and throat get itchy and sometimes my nose gets runny. I guess when I was a baby my parents gave me cheese and I kept itching my eyes, they took me to the pediatrician and he determined I had a dairy allergy.I was hanging out with some friends yesterday like 4 people and my friend brought his friend "Allen" with. My friend said something about getting pizza and I said "you guys can and I'll get a burger or something somewhere because I can't eat pizza " (people forget no big deal).Allen was like "why can't you eat pizza? Lactose intolerant?" I said "no that I have a dairy allergy". He was like "it's the same thing just take a lactade and you'll be fine". I said "no it's not, my reactions are different this is an allergy not an intolerance ". He was like "dude there's no such thing as a dairy allergy it's lactose intolerance". I said "well if I eat dairy my throat gets itchy and if someone has lactose intolerance it upsets their stomach" he was like "it's lactose intolerance dairy allergies aren't a thing". I told him if he wanted someone to explain it to him I'd give him my doctor's number but I'm done discussing it, I had zero intention of doing that but I was sick of going in circles.After allen left my friend that brought him said that I should have just agreed with Allen instead if arguing with him because he's "argumentative and always has to prove he's right" that I antagonized him by feeding into it?AITA should I have just said sure and let it go© Photo: powrwnder#2 Aita For Eating Something My Coworker Is Allergic To?There’s a woman in my office who is anaphylactic to eggs. We’ve been asked at work to refrain from bringing eggs, egg cartons, egg products etc into the office as it can trigger a reaction. We’ve also been asked to refrain from eating eggs on the days we’re at the office with her - this means on lunch break (if we happen to go out of office for lunch) but also prior to coming in to the office too (ie breakfast).I’m more than happy to comply with refraining from consuming eggs at work or in work hours as I know how terrible such a trigger would be for her.However, I eat eggs as part of my breakfast nearly every morning. So after I eat breakfast, I take a shower, brush my teeth and then get ready for work.Another coworker of mine (not the one with the allergy) found out about it and called me an AH and said I’m putting our coworker in danger. I explained everything I do to mitigate the risks but she wouldn’t hear any of it.So, AITA?© Photo: Nettie_Moore#3 Aita For Refusing To Go To A Friend's 21st Birthday Due To Allergies?I (21f) was invited to my friend Stacy's (fake name) birthday celebration a few days ago. She has been very excited, as she is the last in our friend group to turn 21, and has been keeping her party planning mostly secret so she can suprise us all. Turns out she organised for a few of our friends, as well as some other friends from her college cheer team, to have a picnic at our city's botanical gardens (I'm unsure if these are global, but it's basically a large park with lots of different plants). She picked out a spot right next to the rose display, as they are her favourite flowers and hold a lot of sentimentality for her.The issue is, I am quite allergic to flowers, think hayfever but worse. I'm not anaphylactic, but my eyes become so itchy they can swell closed, my nose runs like a leaky tap, and very rarely, I can struggle to breathe. The flower I seem to be most allergic to are roses, as the breathing issue tends to happen when I am exposed to them. Stacy does know about my allergies, and has seen me have a few reactions over the years.I declined the invitation, and naturally, as 21st are usually an important celebration, she texted me asking why I couldn't come. When I told her, she became quite upset with me and said that my excuse wasn't good enough, and that there must be a better reason, and when I said it was my real reason, she became even more upset. She kept insisting that I come anyways, citing that I have medication to help me, but she must have forgotten it was a nasal spray, as when I reminded her she said that it was disgusting, and she didn't want to see that on her birthday, even though I offered to run to the toilets when I needed to use it.I tried to comprimise with her, and said that I'd be happy to wear a mask, as it may help lessen the severity, but she shot the idea down as it was a picnic, so i'd take it off to eat, and she didn't want a mask to be in photos. I also said that I'd be happy to take her out for breakfast earlier in the day so we could still hang out for her birthday, but she declined as she wanted all of her friends to celebrate together. I don't want to miss her birthday, but I don't want to ruin it my being a sniffly mess, and possibly having a severe reaction. AITA?© Photo: gaywitchb*tchAccording to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA), “Allergies are among the most common, but overlooked, diseases in the United States,” affecting more than 106 million people each year. That works out to roughly one in three people in the country. Common allergic conditions include seasonal allergies, eczema, and food allergies.#4 Aita For Not Accommodating My Brothers Wife's Food Allergies?I know the title sounds bad but please read before judging.My fathers birthday was Thursday. Usually he makes dinner at family meals because he's easily the best cook but because it was his birthday I offered to make something. He told me what he would like for dinner and I got all the ingredients and planned it. It was supposed to be just my parents, my brother, and I, so we made sure it was something that everyone could eat.Well, Thursday I go to their house in the morning and at around 3 start getting everything ready. I'd been doing stuff in the kitchen for about an hour when my brother called and asked if everyone's okay with his wife coming. We say sure, and then he asks what I'm making. I tell him, and he asks if I can make something else because his wife is allergic to the main ingredient. So there's no way I can still make the dish but without that ingredient.I told him I couldn't change it now because I had already started, but that there would be sides that she could eat and she was welcome to bring her own food. He got upset at this and said that I could just put something similar in or something and that it was really important that she's not around this food because her allergy is severe. Me and my father explained that we couldn't make anything else and that it could have been worked around with more notice but it's too late. My brother got upset and said that we should care more about his family.He came but his wife did not and he was making rude comments about the meal and passive aggressively saying how it would be nice if his wife was here. Dinner ended and he basically left right after. Afterwards he was texting me saying I should have accommodated his wife's serious allergy and now I'm thinking I may be in the wrong.AITA for not changing the dish I was making for her allergies?© Photo: allergic-to-this#5 Aita For Leaving Class Early After Being Exposed To My AllergenToday was my first day of the semester and my professor gave everyone Mazapan which is a mexican peanut candy. I have a severe allergy to peanuts and everyone was eating it in class and crumbs were getting everywhere and the smell of peanuts was STRONG.After the class ate the candy, we did a group activity where we had to put post it notes on the wall & write someone we look up to but everyone was touching all the markers and my contamination OCD kicked in.I felt uncomfortable and trapped so I asked to leave about 15 min early after explaining my allergy and my professor seemed offended and annoyed by that. I understand some people are uneducated about food allergies and how serious they are so I get why he was a bit confused. Was I just letting my health anxiety get to me or was that justified??(EDIT: i am a third year college student and i am aware i do not have to ask permission to leave but i always do during the first week since it is all important information about the class and i dont want to miss anything)© Photo: lunaluvvv1#6 Aita For Refusing To Give Up My Seat On A Flight Due To A Person Who Has A Guide Dog And Is Visiting A Family Member In Hospital Due To The Fact That I Have A Dog Allergy?I won't be going into specifics, since I'd rather avoid being identified.I have a severe dog allergy. I can have varying disease of severity when it comes to my reactions when I'm exposed to dogs. In short, being in a closed environment with a dog is out of the question.Earlier today, I was boarding my flight with my friends, since we're all going on vacation together. As I'm boarding, I find that one of the passengers is boarding with a Golden Retriever, with a guide dog vest on it. I want to make it clear that I'm not questioning whether this was a guide dog or not. This was also a fairly small plane, since the flight would only take around an hour. As mentioned, I cannot be in a confined space with a dog. I told one of the flight attendants my concerns, since I could have potentially ended up in hospital if I had to fly with this dog. The flight attendant informed the woman with the dog, who goes into hysterics, saying that she is visiting a sick family member, and can't afford to miss her flight. I'm not sure how sick the family member in question was/is. The flight attendant asked if I'd be willing to miss this flight and catch the next one that would be leaving in around 2 hours. I was offered a seat in first class if I was willing to do this. I said that unfortunately I wouldn't be able to do this, since I'd paid for my vacation. Due to the size of the plane, the dog would not be able to go in the hold. The woman started insulting my character, saying that I was "heartless" for putting my vacation over her sick family member.I got on the plane and sat with my friends. As I did this, a woman in a nearby seat told me that she wanted to inform that I "am the biggest jerk that she's ever met." I didn't respond since I didn't want to cause a confrontation. My friends haven't said I'm in the wrong, but have kept making sarcastic jokes about the situation.AITA?© Photo: Additional-Plant-843But despite how common allergies are—and despite what your mother-in-law or Aunt Susan might think—they aren’t merely an inconvenience. For people with severe allergies, exposure to a trigger can result in anaphylaxis, a potentially life-threatening allergic reaction that requires immediate medical attention. The AAFA estimates that anaphylaxis accounts for between 45,000 and 50,000 emergency room visits in the U.S. each year. Even more unsettling, according to the organization, emergency room visits for anaphylaxis more than doubled between 2008 and 2016.#7 Aita For Telling A Customer Who Had An Allergic Reaction To Our Food That “It Is What It Is” ?Context:I am a restaurant manager for an Asian fusion restaurant, and some of our dishes do indeed contain peanuts. The customer did let the host know that they do have a peanut allergy, which was noted on their tab. The kitchen staff made sure that there was no cross contamination.After eating the food, customer reported that they were experiencing a peanut allergy from one of the dishes and that they found an actual peanut in the dish. Though the reaction was a mild one, we comp’d their whole meal. I later found a negative review of the restaurant mishap on yelp. My son has a heavy peanut allergy, and I would never bring him to a facility that has peanuts.After personally contacting the customer, I asked “if you knew that you are allergy to peanuts, why risk entering a facility that uses peanuts?” And the response was “peanuts are virtually everywhere, and most restaurants are very diligent handling with peanut allergy. Yet for some reason, your restaurant was completely different... why?” I felt as though I needed to defend my restaurant so I didn’t immediately apologize and found myself constantly saying “it is what it is”Am I the jerk for defending my restaurant?© Photo: QandAthrowaway_#8 Aita For Getting Mad At My Fiancée For Lying About Her Allergy?Throughout our time together, my SO told me that she was allergic to peanuts. I made sure that all of our dishes didn’t contain peanuts, and that I would only eat them outside of the house.Yesterday, her lie got found out. My parents gave me some Indian food, they’re Indians, I was going to label that the Biryani had peanuts, but I guess I had a brain fart. She began to eat it. I knew something was wrong when I saw her eating it, when I suddenly realized what happened.I literally tossed her spoon from her hand. I told her that the Biryani has peanuts in it. She just goes “Oh, I’m not allergic to peanuts; I just hate the taste of it”. I was really mad; she was lying about such an important thing. I’ve been unnecessarily taking extra precautions so she doesn’t even breathe in peanut particles. She’s calling me a jerk for being mad at her.She lied throughout our entire relationship. I don’t know what other things she has lied about. Is her name really Rebecca? Is she really a woman?But seriously, AITA?© Photo: AITAPeanutAllergy#9 Aita For Getting My Co-Worker An Allergic Attack And Getting Her Sent To The Hospital?So I (22M) and my co-worker Lukas (23M) decided to surprise our co-worker Lily (25F) for her first year anniversary. With permission from our boss we decided to fill up her entire office with balloons, normally we start working at 9AM but for this we came in 3 hours early at 6AM.Together we spent around 50$ worth of equipment to do this, we finished this within 2 hours and started waiting until Lily came to the office. After 45 minutes she arrived and she went up to her office, once she got to her office she opened the door and the entire room was filled with balloons. But since there were so many, alot of them escaped the room and fell onto Lily.She suddenly started screaming and backed off really quickly, we went out of hiding and surprised her. Then she said she was very allergic for latex, but I didn't understand. She explained that balloons are made of Latex, and that I should've known that she was allergic for Latex.After 30 minutes the allergic reaction became so severe that she had to be rushed to the hospital, I didn't mean to do this since I thought balloons were made out of rubber. It's been 2 days and she's recovering at home since returning from the hospital today.So Reddit, AITA?© Photo: kevinplasAnd no, you’re not imagining it—rates of allergies really are rising. The AAFA states that “the rates of allergies are steadily rising,” while the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service notes, citing the CDC, that food allergies are “a growing food safety and public health concern.” So yeah, you might only remember that one kid at school who wasn’t allowed a party pack or slice of birthday cake, but according to the USDA, food allergies affect “1 in 13 children, or about 2 students per classroom.”#10 Aita For Not Knowing My Daughters AllergiesHey reddit, i don’t know who to turn to and i’m confused by this situation. I’m a 27 year old dad of a 6 year old. She is my life, i always put her first and i love her a lot. My girlfriend and i separated when our baby was 2. It was more of my decision instead of hers and she’s been a jerk about it ever since. We agreed on handling it outside of court just to save us time and money. I agreed on letting my daughter live with her and giving her mom 500 dollars each month. I see my daughter mostly on weekends, but i can make plans with her whenever i want. Her mom keeps her medical records and never informs me about anything. I’ve tried asking about it, but her mom always answers with “she’s healthy”.Wednesday afternoon, i took my daughter out for some icecream. She got to pick out the flavor and toppings. She ordered snicker flavored ice cream and added some candy. I found out later that she has an allergy towards peanuts, but not before she had an allergic reaction in the icecream place. I literally had to rush to the closest ER and they took care of her from there. It was a very close call and i’m still upset about it. My daughter is okay now, but her mom is mad at me for letting my daughter eat peanuts. I didn’t know she had an allergy to them! I told her this and she went off, she claimed that she told me, but i was too busy doing something else.She’s been bugging me about it ever since and i’m starting to feel guilty, AITA?© Photo: throwayaway102#11 Aita For Proving That My Nephew Does Not Have Food Allergies?Everyone is mad at me and I’m going to be honest and say I don’t I don’t understand why. I’m 17F, by older sister is 22. Nephew is 4. Around 2 weeks ago my sister and nephew moved back in with my parents and I because she lost her apartment.I have no issue with that, but my sister claims that my nephew has all of these different allergies. She claimed he was allergic to onions, garlic, bell pepper and all spicy peppers, and a lot of other stuff. My sister has always been a notoriously picky eater, and a lot of the things she claimed he was allergic to were things that she didn’t like to eat.I didn’t believe he had these allergies, and it pissed me off that my mom started cooking differently and the food hasn’t been as good since she came back home (like no garlic???) I wanted to prove she was lying. She went out Sunday to run some errands and left me with little dude to watch. I thought it would be fun to make little pizzas for lunch. We made little pizzas with roasted garlic, spinach and bell pepper. Just like I thought, he ate them no problem and loved the food. I took pictures while we made the food.When all of my family got around for dinner, I showed my mom what my nephew and I did for lunch, and told everyone he enjoyed his garlicy pizza.My sister got extremely mad and started yelling and screaming at me at the dinner table, she accused me of trying to poison her child. I told her that I was just proving what a liar she was and told her she was a bad mom for not feeding her kid food she didn’t like and telling people he’s allergic so he can’t try them. My mom ended up sending me to my room. I’m being punished because I did something “dangerous”, but in reality I knew my sister was lying. I need to know if I’m a jerk for exposing her for this and I just can’t see it. AITA?© Photo: thefooduncle#12 Aita For Saying That Someone Else’s Kid’s Allergy Isn’t My Problem And Leaving A Restaurant?So, to celebrate my son’s graduation and with most people around here being vaccinated I took the family to the local hibachi for some dinner.My family of four sits down and soon we are joined by another family of four. They are nice enough and when the time comes to order, the father says that one of his daughters has a dairy allergy and asks that her food be made without butter. The waitress says “No problem, we will make everyone’s without butter”. The father says, her allergy isn’t that serious and as long as her serving has no dairy, it should be fine. The waitress repeats “We will make all the food at the table without butter”. I say that we would like butter with ours. She replies “Sorry, at hibachi we make all of the food together and we cannot risk her getting sick so all of the food needs to be made without butter”.I reply that we are not even together. Plus, I say you can make her food in the back. There is no rule that the food needs to be made together. The father agrees with me and says they do it all the time. At this point, the waitress says they are very busy and they can’t do that. So I got up and said we are leaving because someone else’s allergy should not affect my dining experience. Then we went to a different hibachi restaurant 10 minutes away. My wife says that I was an a-hole because I ruined my son’s graduation dinner and I should have been more thoughtful to the girl’s needs. Plus, now the other restaurant has lost a reservation. My point is that the girl’s needs could have been met in other ways by the restaurant. Plus, my son likes his butter.© Photo: KatzDeliFor people living with severe allergies, avoiding a trigger isn’t always as simple as just checking a label. As Dr. Khadj Rouf writes for The Psychologist, “Living with severe allergies is a daily negotiation” that extends beyond managing a medical condition into navigating social spaces and relationships. “Avoid the allergen and carry emergency medication” is the standard advice for those with food allergies. But Rouf points out that it’s rarely so simple. Rather, she explains, “there’s a high degree of emotional labour attached to it.”#13 Aita For Being Pissed That My Dil Won’t Accommodate My Allergy So I Am Not Going To Her DinnerI am very very frustrated. My son has been married to my DIL for three years now. I have always made extra dishes that didn’t include meat to accommodate her. No matter how much it was a pain to do I always made sure she had options to eat when I hosted or she was over. She is vegetarian and at one point tried to go vegan.My son and her never hosted due to living in a small apartment but that changed since they have just bought a home. They are having a dinner this week and I called her to remind her I am allergic to nuts. She then informed me that she doesn’t doenst have time and to bring my own food. She told me that she cooks a lot with different nuts and she can’t make adjustments to her menu.This is where I am at be a jerk, I told her I will not be going and neither will my husband. That I have accommodated her for years and not once have I made her bring her own food. This started an argument where she thinks I am being unreasonable.My husband is on my side but my son and her as very upset.Edit: stop downvoting people who say there are allergies that are not life threatening, they are correct. My allergy is not life threatening, if it was going to end me I wouldn’t be okay with any of the dishes having nuts, I just asked for one that I can eat. I can be at a table with nuts it’s fine.This actually personally annoys me, allergic reactions are a spectrum from very mild to end you.Also for everyone saying allergies get worse every time people have it are incorrect, some allergies can be improved through exposure therapy which is usually done at a doctors. My daughter has literally done that with her shellfish allergy.© Photo: Vivid-Worth-8581#14 Aita For Causing My Girlfriend's Friend To Have A Severe Allergic ReactionTwo days ago my (29M) girlfriend (24F) came over my place and her friend (24F) tagged along, we just had a heatwave so my gf and I were in the pool (her friend wasn't). I'm a little bit of a jokester and I thought it'd be funny to push her friend into the pool. As soon as I did this, both of them started freaking out. I was pretty confused and my girlfriend helped her friend out. This is when things went to hell. Her friend started developing hives and my gf was yelling at me to call an ambulance because she's having an allergic reaction I WAS STILL CONFUSED but I called triple zero. This is when my girlfriend informed me that her friend had 'cold urticaria' (an allergy to cold) and is reacting to the cold water. I didn't even know that was a thing. Everything happened so fast, her friend started complaining about being dizzy and having shortness of breath. Thankfully the paramedics showed up, injected an epipen and then took her to hospital - she is fine now.Just to be clear - I had NO idea about her friend's allergy but now my girlfriend is mad at me because "I shouldn't be pushing people into pools anyway" and she's making me feel even more guilty by calling me a jerk etc.AITA?© Photo: throwra_idiot45#15 Aita For “Overreacting” About My Allergies?I (17f) have an extremely severe peanut allergy, its put me in the hospital three times and ive almost passed away because of it once. I have two other food allergies but theyre not nearly as severe as my peanut allergy.A couple nights ago, I went over to my boyfriends (19m) house. I ate dinner beforehand because I never eat at peoples house out of concern. His parents completely understand this, but sometimes he gets upset with me because of it. I cant eat out at restaurants like he wants to, which he constantly brings up. He also hates that he has to give up certain foods when hes around me. He constantly brings these points up when we argue, even if its completely unrelated. It makes me sad but I understand where hes coming from.Anyways, the other night when I went over to my boyfriends house, he decided he was still hungry after dinner. He said to wait in his room and that he would be right back after he ate. He came back to the room and looking back he was acting kind of weird but I honestly didnt question it at the time. He then got really close to me like he wanted to kiss and I instantly could smell his breath. It was distinctly peanut butter. I asked him what the herll he was doing and he then started screaming at me that it was a joke and he wasnt actually going to do anything. As we were arguing, I felt like I was struggling to breathe. It felt like I was having a reaction even through he didnt even touch me. I ran downstairs where my bag was to grab my epipen just in case. I left right after without saying anything.After getting home I texted him that I didnt want to see him again. He then started spamming me about how I was overreacting and that I was a burden anyways. He said I didnt deserve him and that I wont ever find someone to put up with my problems. What broke me is when he said that he did it on purpose because he didnt believe that I had any allergies in the first place and that he thought I was lying because hes never seen me have a reaction. But now I feel kind of bad about it, and it makes me feel like hes right about me being a burden/overreacting and the other stuff he said. AITA?© Photo: [deleted]Food allergens can be particularly difficult to avoid. Just think about it: eating out, going on holiday, attending celebrations, or simply spending time at school or work can all require additional planning and communication. Rouf points out that the responses from other people can make those situations easier—or considerably more difficult. In fact, she says, “Trying to manage other people’s responses can make it tempting not to bother eating out at all.”#16 Aita For Getting Mad At My Mom For Continuously Forgetting About My GF's Allergy?My girlfriend and I have been together nearly 2 years now and have spent a bunch of get togethers with my family in that time. From the beginning, I told my parents that my girlfriend has a serious pork allergy. Whenever a family occasion comes up that involves them cooking, I always remind them about the allergy because they always seem to forget (and my family seems to eat a lot of pork, go figure). Last year at Christmas, my mom cooked the turkey with bacon layered on the top of it despite knowing about my girlfriend's allergy, and my girlfriend couldn't eat it.So, since the holidays are coming up I reminded my mom a few weeks ago about the allergy. Today at lunch I was talking to my mom and brought up Christmas Day. She then says, "I'm cooking the turkey with bacon on top". I just looked at her and said "If you do that, (insert girlfriend's name) won't be able to eat it like last year". Then she got all upset and says "Fine, I just won't cook it with bacon like I had planned then" and I said, "You don't have to do a whole separate plan" and she got pissed off and said "Good I won't." She then asked if my girlfriend can eat ham and I just looked at her incredulously and reminded her that no, she can't, because ham is also pork. She just huffed at that and walked away from the table and didn't sit down again.I feel hurt because I feel like there's an inconsiderate aspect to this by both of my parents not keeping in mind my girlfriend's allergy and me having to continually remind them. I'm mad because if I hadn't said anything today, the turkey would have again been cooked with bacon on it and my girlfriend wouldn't have been able to eat it, which I personally would find upsetting if I were in her shoes and it happened for a second year in a row. I know this isn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of life, but AITA for getting mad at them about this?© Photo: asimplekindness#17 Aita For Not Accommodating My Friend's Daughter's Food Allergies On A Group Holiday?I 31f am going on holiday with my husband 30m and some of our friends. I organised the trip and we have a groupchat. We are bringing our son Alex 5m and it is a family trip with friends bringing their kids as well. I have a friend Emily 29f who has a daughter 5f Ava who has many food allergies. Ava and Alex are good friends.To save money when going away, we will be cooking for ourselves most days in our apartment. I agreed to shop for food staples for the trip, and I created a list and everyone added things to create a final list. Emily messaged to say Ava can't eat most the food on the list and sent me an edited version swapping out ingredients for things Ava can eat.The swaps made the shopping way more expensive, and others replied their kids won't eat most the things on the list and wanted to stick to the original one. I told Emily that this wasn't in our budget, and told her to separately get food for Ava, and we will adjust splitting the food bill to just include her and her husband instead. She argued that Ava will feel left out on the trip as she has to eat something else separately, especially seeing Alex eat what everyone else does and Ava can't eat that.Normally when we meet up, we do all eat the same food as Ava, which is fine as that is one meal once every 1/2 weeks, but we are going away for 10 days, and I don't think I can eat that food everyday.© Photo: Weird-Chemistry2054#18 Aita For Defending My Son's Decision To Not Invite His Friend To His Birthday Party Over A Food Allergy?Hi everyone. I won't be going into specifics with regards to names or ages.So my son has a birthday party every year. At this party, he always has food that consists of one of his favourite flavours of cake, such as chocolate, pineapple etc. This year, he has decided that he wants the theme to be strawberry flavoured food. Now, I'm sure most people will agree with me that having birthday parties with a food theme isn't an issue. However, in this case it is.My son has a friend in his class. This friend has been to every birthday party my son has had. The problem is that this friend has a Strawberry allergy, so you can see where the issue would stem from. My son has said that he wants to have a strawberry flavoured food theme for his party, and that his friend likely won't be able to come due to his allergy. I told my son that if that's he wants, then he's allowed to do that, since it is his birthday.My son told his friend about his plans. According to my son, he made it clear that him not inviting him wasn't to be malicious and that the only reason he wasn't invited was due to his food allergy. According to my friend, his mum thinks I'm being a jerk by supporting my son's decision to not invite this friend, since she believes that a birthday party needs to be inclusive.AITA in this case?EDIT: The child's allergy isn't life threatening, however, if he were to eat a strawberry he would have to go home to say the very least.© Photo: Right_Nothing_5499Sometimes people’s responses come from a place of what Rouf (somewhat generously) calls “well-meaning ignorance.” For instance, she recalls being asked at a café whether microwaving a cake would destroy its milk and egg allergens. Other times, she notes that responses can also include “deliberate recklessness,” where people “may just ignore a person’s allergy as ‘faddy’ and assume that they know better than the sufferer.” The distinction matters, but Rouf also makes a sobering point about what can happen when those attitudes go too far. Speaking of the latter, she warns, “This kind of attitude can cost someone their life.”#19 Aita For Not Allowing My Son's Friend Who Has A Severe Food Allergy To Visit My Home Because I Don't Want To Go Through The Trouble Of Preparing For His Visit?My son met his friend ("Jake") in school last year. They are a lot alike and became quick friends. My son has been over many times to Jake's house for sleepovers, but Jake has never been to ours. My son had asked my wife and I a few times if Jake could come over. At first I told him maybe, but after he persisted and kept asking, I told him that it was up to Jake's parents but if they said okay then it was fine. I only said this because I suspected that most likely they would not allow Jake to come over because of his food allergy. Deep down I didn't really want to invite him over because I knew it would mean a lot of prep work for us, but I wanted to be nice about it and also my son kept badgering us about this.That was a mistake on my part because Jake's parents agreed and were really happy to let him spend the night. They said most of his friends' parents won't invite Jake to spend the night because they think it is too much trouble. This was the first time anyone had ever invited him over, and Jake was really happy.I have explained to my wife what I've written in my post and admitted that I don't want to invite Jake over because it would be too much work and the responsibility is too much. She told me I was a selfish jerk for not only lying to our son but not being willing to go through a little extra trouble for Jake, but we are talking having to go on a 48+ hour lockdown in our home to guard against anything that could trigger his allergy. That is too much.AITA?© Photo: EasternBake3497#20 Aita For Abruptly Leaving My Boyfriend And His Family Dinner After They Refuse To Respect My Allergies? I (19 F) recently got the chance to safely see my boyfriend (20M) family for a dinner. I work as a paramedic and would reject going to any plans my boyfriend had with me wanting to go see his family due to COVID.I recently got the chance to have a two week vacation and decided to accept my boyfriend offer to see his family. I asked my boyfriend what would be served and just checking in to see if what they would make won’t have Seafood/ Shellfish since I’m allergic to them.The day comes and I had a good time with them up until the time for us to eat, I noticed the food they had mostly had either seafood in it or was entirely seafood. I asked if they had anything else but my boyfriend insisted I should just eat a little to not be disrespectful. I stood my ground and informed him and his family I’m severely allergic to seafood and after they insisted that they won’t serve me or make anything that doesn’t have seafood, I thanked them and left.Today, I got angry text messages from my boyfriend upset that I disrespected him and his family and wanted me to apologize to them but I’m not going to.AITA?© Photo: Ok-Nail7633#21 Aita: My Girlfriend Is Allergic To Milk And Doesn’t Want Any Milk Products In The HouseMy (27M) girlfriend (24F) of almost two years and I recently moved in together. It’s been mostly good so far except there has been one drama and it’s all to do with my girlfriend’s allergy to milk. She’s been allergic to milk since she was pretty young, and I mean severely allergic. The last time she accidentally consumed it, she went into anaphylaxis. That was 4 years ago.I expected that when we moved in I’d be able to eat and drink anything I want but my girlfriend is very strict on the “no milk products in the house rule.” I find it very inconvenient and i don’t think it’s fair that I’m not allowed to buy normal milk or cheese or yogurt etc. for myself. I don’t understand why she can’t have her almond milk and I have my cows milk.Yesterday we went to the supermarket and I decided hey I’m going to buy a small carton of milk for myself because almond milk is disgusting. My girlfriend immaturely took it out of the shopping cart and we ended up having an argument in the middle of the store over something as minor as MILK. She kept saying that she’s scared she’ll accidentally drink it (I don’t see how that’s possible) so I told her that she is being extremely paranoid and she can’t control what I choose to eat or drink and i put it BACK into the cart. She told me I was being an inconsiderate jerk and walked out of the store.I gotta ask... aita?© Photo: throwraallergic1“Living with allergy,” Rouf goes on to explain, “also means taking safety precautions.” This might include making decisions based on things others wouldn’t give much thought, like choosing a holiday destination based on its proximity to an emergency room, and ensuring they have access to emergency medication at all times. But someone with an allergy, Rouf explains, is also tasked with “trying to keep those [precautions] proportionate in a world which has differing levels of understanding about the condition.”#22 Wibta - Bringing A Food Dish To An Org Function When