Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are reportedly tying the knot this summer. The Onion shares everything we know about the big day so far.THE DRESSInspired by Swift’s love of Elizabeth Taylor, the custom gown will be embellished with over 30 of the legendary actress’s teethTHE VENUENew York City, with overflow seating in Rhode IslandTHE DATEIn homage to Taylor Swift’s favorite number, the ceremony will take place on 13/13/13THE THEMETaylor SwiftSOMETHING BLUETravis Kelce’s tongue after getting into the Jolly Rancher bowlTHE GROOM’S ATTIREThe groom will be wearing a bucket hat designed by Vera WangRING BEARERThe congregation will be charmed as Swift’s private jet adorably taxis the rings down the aisleTHE CAKEPlain Costco sheet cakeGUEST ETIQUETTEThe bride has firmly requested no sack tappingGIFTSIn lieu of presents, the couple asks that guests sue Scooter BraunREHEARSAL DINNERFor ease of comprehension, the rehearsal dinner has been renamed the scrimmage dinnerTHE PHOTOGRAPHERTMZVOWSBoth Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce will recite vows written by Taylor SwiftTHE GIANT ICE SCULPTURE OF A T-REXA compromiseTHE FAVORSA bunch of the Target-exclusive vinyls that didn’t end up sellingThe post A Sneak Peek At Taylor Swift’s Wedding appeared first on The Onion.