Jermaine Pennant has revealed his pain over battling depression and getting a late ADHD diagnosis.The former Liverpool and Stoke winger has opened up about the challenges he faced during his playing career before learning of his neurodivergence after hanging up his boots.Pennant retired in 2018 before being diagnosed with ADHD aged 37GettyPennant made 231 Premier League appearances across spells with Liverpool, Stoke, Birmingham City, Leeds United, Portsmouth and Arsenal.He also played for clubs in Spain, India and Singapore before retiring aged 35 in 2018 following a stint in non-league with Billericay.Off the pitch, Pennant was convicted of drink-driving and jailed for three months in 2005.He later played for Birmingham while wearing an electronic tag following his release from prison.The ex-England youth international had first joined Arsenal as a 16-year-old, signing from boyhood club Notts County.However, his fight with depression began around five years later, although he admits he was not aware of it at the time.Pennant reveals ADHD and depression battlePennant spoke candidly about his mental health on the latest episode of talkSPORT’s After The Lights Go Out podcast.Speaking to Steve Harmison and Leon McKenzie, he revealed when his depression began, explaining: “I think it was midway through when I was at Arsenal.“When I joined Arsenal I was 16 and I think it was around about 21, 22, which I wasn’t aware of but looking back I probably think the latter stages of my Arsenal career that’s when it started to creep in.“All I wanted to do was play football. That’s the only thing I had from growing up, that was my only goal, that was the only thing that kept me going, kept me safe was football. There wasn’t anything else.Pennant recalls suffering from depression during his time at LiverpoolGetty Images - Getty“I didn’t have that family love or support of having mum around, my dad was into drugs and dealing and where I was from was rough so football was the only thing that I had.“When that started to kind of go away from me, when I wasn’t playing or not getting selected, that’s when those things started to creep in and the mistakes started to happen. Which I wasn’t aware of at the time but looking back I can understand.”The severity of his depression only became apparent following a move to Liverpool in 2006, though.Pennant continued: “I knew when I had depression when I was at Liverpool. I had everything.“The big house, the swimming pool, I was playing for my boyhood team Liverpool, the team I supported as a kid and still support now, I’m a professional player, a kid couldn’t have dreamt of a better scenario to be in.“I had a conversation with my agent and I said to him, ‘Sky, name those things that I’ve got. I’m not happy’.Jermaine Pennant's career statistics1999: Notts County – One app1999-2005: Arsenal – Three goals in 26 apps2002: Watford (Loan) – Three goals in 23 apps2003-04: Leeds (Loan) – Two goals in 36 apps2005: Birmingham (Loan) – 12 apps2005-06: Birmingham – Three goals in 48 apps2006-09: Liverpool – Three goals in 81 apps2009: Portsmouth (Loan) – 14 apps2009-11: Real Zaragoza – 26 apps2010: Stoke City (Loan) – 14 apps2011-14: Stoke City – Four goals in 75 apps2012-13: Wolves (Loan) – 15 apps2014-15: Pune City – Seven apps2015: Wigan – Three goals in 13 apps2016-17: Tampines Rovers – Four goals in 34 apps2017: Bury – Seven apps2017-18: Billericay – Two appsHonours: FA Cup, 2x Community Shield“At the time I didn’t know. Now I understand depression, but I would describe it as you could have everything in the world but there is something missing and that makes you not happy. That’s probably a sign of depression.”It would not be until around two years after retiring from football that Pennant would then be diagnosed with ADHD.When asked if his childhood had played a part in his mental health battles, he explained: “Yes, 100 per cent because I went through a lot as a child and I never throughout my life really addressed it, I just suppressed it.“On top of that, not knowing I had ADHD, which I found out when I was 37.“So all those little cocktails of things, childhood trauma, ADHD, suppressing my feelings, what I endured.“Then when I was at Liverpool and wasn’t playing as well in the second season, all those things accumulated to the depression and my traumas as well that at some point comes to the surface.”Pennant ’embarrassed’ to speakDuring three years at Anfield, Pennant made 81 appearances for the Reds across all competitions.He admits he did not feel ready to open up on his mental health with his team-mates, though, in a dressing room which included the likes of Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher and Peter Crouch.Pennant revealed: “At Liverpool, I didn’t have anyone to speak to. Not because they didn’t want to help or didn’t want to hear, it was more that I haven’t got to that level to approach them and ask for help.”The now-43-year-old continued: “I would have felt embarrassed to go and pull Steven Gerrard aside, Rafa (Benitez) you couldn’t speak to.“Going to my peers and saying to Stevie, Carra, Crouchy or anyone I was playing with at the time and going, ‘look I’m struggling.’ I would have felt embarrassed saying it.“How they would have looked at me or what they would have thought. They might have laughed or joked because I was that joker so they might have found it funny and that probably would have made things worse.Pennant featured in a Champions League final for Liverpool, the club he supported as a childGetty“So rather than making myself feel vulnerable, I just dealt with it myself and on top of that I had nobody to speak to.“I had no family, I have not seen or spoken to my mum probably since I was three, never seen her, she left. I fell out with my father because of the drugs when he started to get addicted.“I just didn’t have anyone to reach out, no family support to come round, my grandma then passed away, she was the closest thing to a mother that I had.“So I was literally on my own, at home, yes I had a partner, but sometimes our relationship was bad so I was just at home, left to my own devices, not playing, just in a dark place.”Playing for Arsenal hungoverHaving joined Arsenal’s academy as a 16-year-old, Pennant remained with the Gunners for six years until his exit in 2005.During that time, he scored three goals in 26 appearances for the club, with all of those strikes coming in the same match.Pennant scored a hat-trick on his first Premier League start against Southampton at Highbury in May 2003.His heroics came despite a night of drinking the day before which left him playing through a hangover after a surprise inclusion in the starting XI.Asked if he had ever gone onto the pitch thinking he was not in the right condition physically or mentally, Pennant recalled: “Yes, it’s a crazy story.“I wouldn’t advise it to any youngsters, but I went out on the Friday because it was an FHM launch party at Emporium, which back then would have been absolutely huge.“I was playing Southampton for Arsenal (the next day), they were all like ‘you’re going to start tomorrow,’ and I was like ‘no, I’m not.’“I’d only had a couple appearances off the bench, five or 10 minutes here and there, I’m not going to play and I’ll be home by 12am. They was fuming.A hangover did not stop Pennant scoring a hat-trick on his first league start for ArsenalGetty“I went out. My plan was to be home by 12am, but then I had one drink, then two drinks, the next minute I’m going home at half five, six o’clock in the morning, very rough.“So I went to the hotel and we played the game, I was starting and I was in shock thinking ‘what have I done?’“This is my first start in the Premier League for Arsenal and Arsene Wenger, my big chance I’ve been crying and waiting for, I’ve now potentially ruined it because of the ADHD of wanting to take the risk and not thinking about the consequences.“Having that dopamine hit of taking the risk is more important than most people thinking, ‘let me hold back there’.”As for the match itself, Pennant added: “We won 6-1 and I scored a hat-trick, but afterwards I was like, ‘oh my God, what have I just done’.“I’m so lucky that God has given me a chance, given me the opportunity to live another day.”Prison visit from Steve BruceFollowing earlier loan spells at Watford and Leeds, Pennant joined Birmingham in January 2005 for the remainder of the season.Just two months later, though, he was sentenced to three months in prison for drink-driving, driving whilst disqualified and driving without a licence.Despite the conviction, Blues boss Steve Bruce and the club stuck by him, even making his move permanent at the end of the season.Highlighting Bruce’s role in his career, Pennant explained: “I think without him I wouldn’t have had the career I had afterwards after that incident. I definitely wouldn’t have played for Liverpool if it wasn’t for him.“I was on loan at Birmingham and they knew that I had a trial coming up, everyone thought I would probably get a suspension or some sort of fine, didn’t think I was going to be going down.“They were aware of that, but took me on anyway. Once I got (sent) down, Arsenal were speaking with Birmingham because they liked the little spell on loan that I did, I played really well, they was happy with that and they struck a deal with Arsenal to sign me.Bruce visited Pennant in prison before making his Birmingham move permanentGetty“When that deal happened, Steve Bruce came on a visit, he came to prison, sat down and asked me how I was doing.“It was amazing just seeing him there and what he was saying, ‘how are things? Is there anything we can do to help? Make things as comfortable as possible. Are you training?'”Pennant would go on to make 60 appearances for Birmingham, scoring three goals and providing seven assists.His performances earned him a move to Liverpool in 2006 following Blues’ relegation to the Championship.Less than a year later, he started in the Champions League final as the Reds were beaten 2-1 by AC Milan in Athens.Pennant’s England careerAt international level, Pennant represented England from Under-16s through to the Under-21s.Making his debut for the highest age group while still just 18, he won 24 caps for the Young Lions between 2001 and 2004.However, he was never capped by his country at senior level despite his runs of form for Birmingham and Liverpool in particular.As a result, he is one of only two English players to have played in a Champions League final without winning a senior cap.Reflecting on his England career, Pennant admits he would have featured for the Three Lions had he not made mistakes in his life.His time with the Under-21s included being sent home for breaking curfew before a match and a red card against Croatia for punching an opposition player.Looking back at the dreams he had hoped to achieve as a player, Pennant said: “One of my dreams came true (playing in the Champions League final).Pennant was capped by England up to Under-21 level but never appeared for the senior sideGetty“Play in a Champions League final, play for Liverpool and play for England. Out of the three of them, two of them did come true.“I played for England Under-21s all the way but just never got that senior cap.”He added: “I have no doubt, if there weren’t so many headlines and mistakes then I would have definitely got a senior cap, for sure.”