A mother says a frantic call for help at a neighbor’s pool ended in an argument she never expected. Her husband arrived, but what he did next left her angry and unsure what to think of him. The woman shared her story on Reddit‘s r/AITAH. Her post is titled “AITAH for being disgusted with my partner after he refused to go into a neighbor’s pool to retrieve our eloping autistic child?” It has drawn more than 3,300 comments as of this writing. She says her son is non-verbal and autistic. He wandered into the neighbor’s pool, and she could not pull him out alone. She wrote that he nearly weighs as much as she does, so she called her husband. Her husband refused to get into the pool Wandering, also called elopement, is a common worry for parents of autistic children. A previous report about an autistic child who went missing highlighted how quickly the situation can become dangerous, particularly when water is nearby. AITAH for being disgusted with my partner after he refused to go into a neighbor’s pool to retrieve our eloping autistic child? byu/latchkeytwin inAITAH She says the mood changed the moment her husband showed up. “My husband arrived, began shouting at me, and argued that he was free from blame because he regularly checks the locks.” Her son was still in the water at that point, she says. Her husband wanted to review the security footage first, so he could find out who left the door unlatched. As per her account, he believed that person should be the one to go in. She says that made little sense, because he was already beside the pool. “He had already climbed over the locked gate and stood beside the water, placing him in a position to step in and grab our child right away. Despite being there, he refused on principle and demanded I enter instead,” she wrote. The footage showed the couple’s 14-year-old daughter had left the door unlatched. Even then, the woman says her husband stayed out of the water. She climbed the gate herself and went in fully clothed to bring her son out. The incident also raised the same pool-safety concern that has led other parents to question whether an unfenced pool should be accessible to children. She added that this was the third time in a month she had to get into a pool to reach him. Her husband last did so three years ago. Of that earlier rescue, she wrote, “He mentioned this event, claiming it is never his fault, though he was the one who found him and went in.” Back at home, the husband reportedly shouted at their daughter and accused her of ignoring her sibling’s safety. The mother told him she was disgusted. She says she told him that “a real man/father would have jumped in immediately regardless of who unlocked the door” and that he responded by accusing her of pushing bullsh**t. Later, he sent a text with what she described as a partial apology. He said sorry for blaming her at first, according to the post. She says he still defended his choice, kept blaming their daughter, and wanted her to face consequences. Many commenters sided with the mother. One wrote, “He doesn’t sound like a very safe person or good father. NTA. Personally, I would do some hard thinking about this relationship.” Another commenter pointed to the bigger risk. “I think you have much more important problems to deal with first. If your non-verbal child is running off and getting into the neighbor’s pool three times in a month, that is an emergency. (It was actually an emergency after the first time.) Your husband sounds like an as-hole, but YOUR KID COULD DROWN. Why are you wasting time on Reddit adjudicating blame?” The Daily Dot said it could not independently verify the identities or experiences described. The details above reflect the original poster’s account on r/AITAH.