I’m about 7 months into my 12 month residency program, and I truly feel like every day something new happens that makes it worse. First—the manager who hired me quit before I even got there. We had an interim manager for 6 months and now have a new one who seems okay but nobody really knows her and she hasn’t really made an effort to introduce herself to anyone personally, which everyone finds off putting. So not off to a great start. Second, the unit I work on has a very unpredictable census, so staffing is difficult and people are constantly getting low-censused. They’re also constantly changing staffing rules and of course every change makes it worse and worse for us. Everyone is pissed off all the time because management has been so unstable, staffing is a mess, things are just not what they used to be etc. Needless to say it’s been extremely difficult to find my place here. I don’t feel like I’ve really befriended anyone at all. Obviously this might be in my head, but I can’t help but feel like the culture is very gossipy/whispery. People talk bad about each other a lot, just a lot of nightshift vs dayshift blah blah blah, or singling people about talking about how they’re annoying or lazy or whatever. As a new grad who’s already in a constant state of feeling dumb and nervous, naturally this makes me insanely anxious about what people think of me, and it kind of turns me off from all of my coworkers, like it makes me not really want to get to know them at all. I know work isn’t the place to make besties, but I do think it’s extremely helpful to be able to call your coworkers your friends or at the very least know you can count on them. On my unit it’s very, very difficult to get through the shift without occasional teamwork, and I often feel very alone or like I’m judged for asking for support. With all of this going on, people have been dropping like flies because they’ve had enough of the disastrous staffing/management problems. So now we’re facing severe understaffing, and it will be in the hands of a manager who nobody knows. One solution they’ve taken is to make me switch to night shift. They said since I’m the newest it’s only fair. I guess that’s fair, but it still sucks for me. The worst part is I still have to work a few weeks of dayshift here and there because I have residency meetings/classes and already scheduled those weeks in advance, and they said I can’t change it because it would affect staffing too much. So for a while I’m going to be flipping back and forth for like 2-3 weeks at a time. I honestly can’t say there’s anything I like about this job. I guess I can appreciate how much I’ve learned and grown as a nurse, but I feel like even that is just completely my own perspective. I don’t have anyone following my progress, I don’t have a manager checking in, I don’t have another new grad nearby to relate to. I’m all alone just trying to get by. I’ve tried not to over-catastrophize it or make myself feel like a victim, because I’m not. It’s not like anyone has done anything wrong to me, if anything I just made a big mistake coming here. But I’m really really unhappy and can’t decide what to do. This experience (plus a couple years working as a tech at a different hospital) has just completely burnt me out on bedside. I honestly didn’t expect to do bedside for that long, but I thought I’d be able to last longer than this, jeez. I want to find somewhere outpatient but am really nervous nowhere is going to hire someone with a questionable 8-9 months of employment as a nurse….i just know it would be such a bad look. Which is frustrating because this place is a disaster and I’m just totally stuck in it. Not to mention that if I quit before my 12 months, I am A. Blacklisted from this hospital system (honestly don’t care lol, please get me far away from this hell hole), and B., more importantly, have to pay back $8,000. That MIGHT be worth it to me, but only if I know I’m going somewhere where I’ll be happy. Does anyone have any advice? Whether it’s a vote for whether I stay or go, or some tips on how to search for a job? Or just words of encouragement lol. I’m down pretty bad. Thanks in advance   submitted by   /u/Agile-Bag-661 [link]   [comments]