In Bollywood, there’s a popular saying — “Apna time aayega.” And when success finally arrives, it can feel magical and larger than life. But when that phase fades and life returns to normalcy, the silence can become deafening. Questions about self-worth begin to creep in, and for veteran actress Anita Kanwal, known for televison shows like Banegi Apni Baat and Sonpari, that emotional struggle has now become deeply personal. Once among television’s most sought-after character actors, Anita says she now feels invisible in an industry she devoted four decades to. “I feel like self-destruction,” she admitted emotionally.Speaking to Siddharth Kannan, Anita recalled an incident from a recent audition. “An assistant asked me to introduce myself. I said, ‘I am Anita Kanwal and I have been acting since most of you weren’t even born.’ After that, they all went quiet,” she shared. She added with a laugh: “I obviously didn’t get the part.” Actress Anita Kanwal. Express archive photoDespite her long and respected career, the actress said she continues to audition while keeping her ego aside. “I have been giving auditions, but it seems nobody likes my work anymore. Earlier they used to say my face was overexposed on television. But it’s been eight years since I worked on TV. Today, when you watch OTT platforms, the same actors appear in every project. How are they not overexposed? Maybe my time is just not right,” she said. Actress Anita Kanwal. Express archive photoWhen she did 13 shows at the same timeReflecting on the peak of her career, Anita revealed how drastically life has changed. “I used to work on 13 shows simultaneously. It hurts a lot when people stop remembering you. It reaches a point where I feel like self-destruction. Just three days ago, I told my daughter, ‘Why am I even living? What am I contributing to society or to my craft anymore?’ I have given so much to this industry. I have played every kind of role and received so many awards. So who is to blame — me or the industry?”ALSO READ | ‘Nobody wants to copy Kareena or Alia anymore’: Karan Johar says Bollywood no longer sets trends‘I pray to God to take me away’The actress admitted that going from being celebrated and constantly in demand to suddenly being forgotten has deeply affected her mental well-being. “Now I suffer from self-doubt. I wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Am I doing something wrong? Yes, I have aged. But I’m not asking to be cast as a 12-year-old — cast me as a 70-year-old. There are people my age getting plenty of work, so why not me?” she said. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Anita Kanwal (@anitakanwal_actor)Anita further added, “I feel so useless. I won’t say suicidal, but sometimes I pray to God and say, ‘If there’s nothing meaningful left for me in this world, then take me away.’ I don’t want to just exist without purpose. But never suicidal — I have gone through very difficult times and never thought like that. I just pray that I don’t end up living like this.”‘The industry made me work while my mother was on her death bed’The actress also spoke about the sacrifices she made for her profession over the years. “I have worked for 40 years with honesty and integrity. Nobody can ever say Anita Kanwal was even five minutes late on set. Once my mother was on her deathbed and had only a few hours left. Even then, I went for a shoot. I got a call from the hospital, but when I tried contacting the producer, he didn’t answer. The production guy handed me a scene and said, ‘Finish this first, then go.’ I did the scene and only then left. I don’t deserve the situation I am in today,” she said.Story continues below this ad Anita Kanwal and Divya Seth in BANEGI APNI BAAT. Express archive photoAnita also revealed that she had once foreseen how unforgiving the industry could be. Recalling an old incident, she shared, “At a time when I was extremely popular and in demand, I went for a meeting where a veteran character actress was already sitting. We had all grown up watching her performances. I greeted her warmly and sat down beside her. Then someone came and asked me to come in for the meeting first. I pointed towards the senior actress and said, ‘No, she came before me.’ But they replied, ‘That’s okay, you come.’ That day I realised that one day, I too would be sitting in her place. That is the reality of this industry.” Anita Kanwal and Manoj Pahwa in tv serial SEA HAWKS. Express archive photoAnita Kanwal is known for her performances in popular television shows like Banegi Apni Baat, Sea Hawks, Sonpari, Sasural Genda Phool, and Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai. She has also appeared in films such as Geetanjali and Mujhse Dosti Karoge!.Disclaimer: The emotional distress, psychological struggle, and thoughts of self-destruction shared by the individual in this interview reflect a deeply personal narrative and should not be interpreted as advisory or a reflection of universal outcomes. Readers experiencing distress, severe isolation, or an overwhelming crisis of self-worth are encouraged to seek the guidance of a qualified mental health professional.HELP IS A CALL AWAYMENTAL HEALTH HELPLINE NUMBERS**AASRA*** **Contact:** 9820466726* **Email:** aasrahelpline@yahoo.com* **Timings:** 24×7* **Languages:** English, Hindi **Snehi*** **Contact:** 9582208181* **Email:** snehi.india@gmail.com* **Timings:** 10am – 10pm, all days* **Languages:** English, Hindi, Marathi **Fortis MentalHealth*** **Contact:** 8376804102* **Timings:** 24×7; All days* **Languages:** Achiku, Assamese, Bengali, Dogri, English, Gujarati, Hindi, Kannada, Konkani, Malayalam, Marathi, Punjabi, Rajasthani, Tamil, Telugu, Urdu **Connecting NGO*** **Contact:** 9922004305, 9922001122* **Email:** distressmailsconnecting@gmail.com* **Timings:** 12pm – 8pm; All days* **Languages:** English, Hindi, Marathi **Vandrevala Foundation*** **Contact:** 18602662345* **Email:** help@vandrevalafoundation.com* **Timings:** 24×7* **Languages:** Hindi, Marathi, Gujarati and English Story continues below this adThis disclaimer has been generated using AI to support user well-being and responsible content consumption.