My situation is very complicated. I was born in Uganda, but my family moved to South Africa when I was 4 years old. I grew up here, went to school here, and later attended University of Johannesburg to study social work. Unfortunately, in my third year, I couldn’t complete my degree because of financial problems. After that, I worked part-time in sales for about a year. The following year at 21 years old, I managed to get a job as a bookkeeper at an accounting firm. Looking back now, I took that opportunity for granted. I slacked off, lost motivation, and eventually lost the job. At the time, I didn’t fully understand how badly I had messed up or how lucky I was to even have stable work which I wasn't qualified for. That was two years ago, and since then, I stayed home and didn't work hoping that my father would take my studies seriously. He has had so much money time and time again and completely shoved me aside. I can understand maybe I'm an adult and am expected to do things for myself, but my situation is very complicated because although I grew up in South Africa, I’m still on a study visa that my father kept renewing over the years. Since high school, I’ve asked him many times to help me sort out my papers properly because he has a South African ID, but he always seems to have other priorities. The scariest part is that my visa expires next month on the deadline for illegal foreigners to leave the country. My father hasn’t really said or done anything about it, even though we live under the same roof. Sometimes, I feel like he’s already decided that I’ll just be sent back to Uganda. I know Uganda is my home country, and if I have to go back, I’ll do my best to survive, find work, and build a life for myself there. But I can’t explain how heavy this uncertainty feels. South Africa is the only life I’ve ever really known. Every day I look around feeling like my time here is running out. I’m terrified that I could lose the life, friends, and family connections I’ve built here and may not see them again for a very long time. Lately I’ve just been overwhelmed with fear, sadness, and uncertainty about the future. Thus isnt the life I had imagined myself living when I matriculated 6 years ago. I feel like the worlds biggest loser or failure. My peers are starting their careers and building their lives. How I dream to just be given the opportunity to do that too but this burden lays on my shoulders stressing me out and draining the life out of me. I haven’t really spoken about this openly before only a few close relatives know. I guess I just needed somewhere to let this all out. Please be kind in the comments. I’m sensitive to being told “go back where you came from.” I was only 4 years old when my family moved here. It was never my choice.   submitted by   /u/Unique_Night_2088 [link]   [comments]