Mom passed earlier this year and since then she has visited me in my home quite a few times. All of it has been so peaceful and wonderful to experience. Today I was at the diner with my best friend. One of mom’s favorite songs came on the diner’s radio. I thought of her. I thought of her deeply for the first time since she passed. It hurt me. It felt like pressure inside my head and deep pressure inside my stomach. Mom came right to me and made her presence known quite, quite clearly right there on the table. For a variety of reasons, I have not been able to think deeply about my mom since she passed, even despite her numerous peaceful visits. I know I am actively avoiding it, and I know that may not be healthy. My question is, how can I think deeply about my mom without experiencing such pressure and tightness, physically, in my body? I am so nervous about what will happen when I actually take the time to sit and reflect on her deeply, something I have not done at all since her passing months ago. I am not fearful of her visits. I am grateful for them. I cherish them. But I do wonder what will happen to me when I finally sit down and fully think about her for the first time since her passing. If one song in a diner brought about such internal distress, what will happen when I give myself agency to give my full thoughts over to her memory?   submitted by   /u/JohnHoynes   to   r/afterlife [link]   [comments]