Are today’s teenagers getting ‘soft’? A child psychologist’s perspective

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Today’s adolescents face pressures that earlier generations never encountered (Photo: Magnific)Every generation believes the next one has it easier. Ancient philosophers complained that young people lacked discipline, and grandparents still reminisce about walking miles to school without complaint. Today’s teenagers are often described as “soft”, “overprotected”, or unable to cope with hardship the way previous generations supposedly did. As a child psychologist, I believe the issue deserves a more nuanced conversation.Teenagers today are not weaker. They are growing up in a fundamentally different emotional ecosystem.Previous generations faced visible hardships, financial struggles, physical labour, stricter parenting, and fewer comforts. Children were often expected to “adjust” quickly and suppress emotional distress. Resilience was built through necessity. But resilience built through silence is not always healthy resilience.Today’s adolescents face pressures that earlier generations never encountered. Social media has created a 24-hour comparison culture where teenagers are constantly evaluating their appearance, popularity, achievements, and social worth. A disappointing exam score or friendship conflict no longer stays within a classroom; it can become amplified online within minutes. Many teenagers are emotionally exhausted not because they are fragile, but because they are perpetually exposed.I recently worked with a 15-year-old boy who broke down after being dropped from his school basketball team. His father’s immediate reaction was, “In our time, we just accepted it and moved on. Kids today are too sensitive.”But when we explored the situation further, the boy explained that within hours of the announcement, classmates had posted team photos online, excluding him. Comments and jokes circulated in WhatsApp groups all evening. He was not simply coping with disappointment; he was coping with public humiliation that followed him into his bedroom through his phone.This is the difference many adults miss. Earlier generations experienced setbacks privately. Today’s teenagers experience them publicly, repeatedly, and digitally.The modern adolescent also grows up in an environment of high parental anxiety. Many parents, with good intentions, attempt to shield children from discomfort, solving problems too quickly, negotiating every conflict, and reducing opportunities for independent decision-making. While this protects children temporarily, it can unintentionally weaken frustration tolerance. Emotional muscles, much like physical ones, develop through gradual challenge.Another common example is something many families see at home. A teenager forgets to submit an assignment and panics. Instead of allowing the child to face the school consequences, a parent immediately emails the teacher, requests extensions, or blames “stress”. While the intention is care, repeated rescue teaches children that discomfort should be avoided rather than managed. Over time, even minor setbacks begin to feel overwhelming.ALSO READ | Sameera Reddy opens up about her parenting journey Today’s adolescents face pressures that earlier generations never encountered (Photo: Magnific)However, labelling teenagers as “soft” ignores an important reality: today’s young people are often more emotionally aware than previous generations. They are more willing to discuss mental health, loneliness, anxiety, and identity struggles. Earlier generations may have endured silently, but silence should not automatically be mistaken for strength.Story continues below this adIn clinical practice, I see teenagers who are deeply empathetic, socially conscious, and emotionally articulate. They are navigating academic pressure, climate anxiety, economic uncertainty, and digital overstimulation simultaneously. Many are trying to succeed in environments where rest itself is often viewed as laziness. The real concern is not softness. It is reduced tolerance for discomfort. Children need opportunities to fail, recover, wait, negotiate, and solve problems independently.A teenager who never experiences manageable adversity may struggle when confronted with real-world setbacks later in life. Resilience cannot be downloaded through motivational speeches.Perhaps the better question is not whether teenagers are getting soft, but whether adults are giving them enough space to become strong.Strength in the modern world may look different from previous generations. It may not always appear as stoicism or endurance. Sometimes it looks like asking for help, setting boundaries, speaking openly about mental health, or continuing to function despite invisible emotional burdens. Today’s teenagers are not necessarily weaker than before. They are simply carrying different weights. © IE Online Media Services Pvt LtdTags:parenting