Since moving to Germany, I have noticed a pattern that still confuses me. People sometimes seem reserved at first, but then help in a very concrete way without making a big emotional show of it. When I moved into my current neighbourhood, an older neighbour barely introduced himself. Two days later, he noticed me struggling with a heavy shelf, brought tools, helped assemble it properly, and left immediately after saying “passt so”. Another person at work spent an hour helping me solve a bureaucratic problem, but looked almost uncomfortable when I thanked her warmly. Where I grew up, helpfulness usually comes with more conversation, reassurance and visible friendliness. Here it sometimes feels like the action itself is supposed to say everything. Is practical help considered a more sincere form of friendliness in Germany than warm words? Or am I simply misreading a communication style that separates kindness from emotional closeness more clearly?   submitted by   /u/Lucidronix   to   r/AskAGerman [link]   [comments]