Divorce is often viewed as the failure of a marriage, a painful last resort that leaves families fractured. One therapist is trying to change that perception through an approach that she calls "compassionate divorce," taking the sting out of ending a marriage by viewing the process in a different way."Discovering Diamonds: A Story of Compassionate Divorce" author and therapist Sarene Arias argues that divorce does not mean failure, and that it can be the beginning of a new phase in life rather than the end of one. She often works with couples in crisis through her "diamond workshops" with the goal of helping them define success on their own."My work, in the largest sense, is to help to normalize what I call 'compassionate divorce,'" Arias told Fox News Digital.KRISTIN CAVALLARI DOUBLES DOWN ON CONTROVERSIAL CLAIM ABOUT HER DIVORCE FROM JAY CUTLERWhile Arias is advocating for a different way of thinking about divorce, Pew Research Center says that Americans have been divorcing less frequently in recent decades. According to Pew, the refined divorce rate, which measures the number of divorces per 1,000 married women ages 15 and older, fell from 20.5 in 2008 to 14.4 in 2023. Researchers suggested the decline may be partly tied to changing marriage patterns.In her book, Arias explains the origin of her "diamonds" terminology. It came about as she and her now- ex-husband told their children that they had decided to get a divorce. Upon hearing the news, Arias' son, who was seven years old at the time, said that the family was changing shapes from a square to a diamond. Her son explained that in his mind, it was because Arias and her ex-husband were moving further apart, but the unit was "still one family.""A diamond, black coal forged under years of pressure into a translucent, radiant gem, is a perfect metaphor for Compassionate Divorce. None of us sets out to separate when we commit to marriage, and yet, in some cases, parting ways is the most generous, loving choice a couple can make," Arias wrote in her book.VANDERBILT HEIRESS BELLE BURDEN EXPOSES HEDGE FUND EXEC EX'S RUTHLESS TACTICS TO 'WIN' BITTER DIVORCE BATTLEArias said her work is not about encouraging couples to separate, but helping couples in crisis determine the healthiest path forward for their families. In her workshops, she defines success not by whether couples stay together, but by whether they are able to create a healthier family dynamic."And so, in a diamond workshop, I define success as, you know, that it's really gonna be like 50-50, that half the couples who come through are gonna find that spark and choose to keep growing and healing together and the other half are gonna commit to compassionate divorce," she said."We can both feel, we can treat one another with mutual respect and we can work collaboratively to continue to make the best choices for our families even when that sometimes means that the couple needs to split," Arias told Fox News Digital.JENNIFER GARNER SAYS DIVORCE FROM BEN AFFLECK CAUSED 'UPHEAVAL' THAT KEPT HER FROM WORKING FOR YEARSArias said that approach stands in contrast to the way divorce is often portrayed in pop culture, where separating spouses become adversaries going through lengthy, expensive legal battles that are treated as inevitable. She argues that divorce can instead be handled respectfully and collaboratively.When asked why couples who can problem-solve and work together in the way that compassionate divorce requires would choose not to stay together, Arias emphasized the difference between preserving a marriage and creating a healthy home."That's just not the same thing as a healthy thriving home. And I think it's okay to want for oneself to thrive," she said.That philosophy extends to the way Arias thinks about children and divorce.For couples with children who are contemplating ending their marriage, they often wonder how the decision will affect their kids, fearing that it could be a traumatic experience. However, Arias argues that people often conflate the impact of the divorce itself with the conflict that surrounds it."Children respond to toxicity in a home," she said. "And that toxicity, if the extent to which the toxicity in the home becomes a contentious divorce, of course that's extremely damaging to kids."Arias said she has seen firsthand the toll contentious divorces can take on children. By contrast, she said children who experience what she describes as a compassionate divorce often want to understand what is happening, particularly those who are middle school age or older.She aims to help couples understand that "deciding to change the terms of their relationship, that's on them, it's theirs. And it's separate from the family and the family dynamics."CLICK HERE FOR MORE COVERAGE OF MEDIA AND CULTUREArias said her own divorce helped shape that perspective. More than a decade after separating, she said her ex-husband remains part of her "broader support network," and that the two have a healthier relationship now than they did during their marriage."We are way, way way more successful and happy now than we were," she said."This sort of binary of married, you know, Disney ending or divorced as failure, that's just not, that's not the real world."