It took me 20 years to realize that I'm not made for love, socializing, or even being a good human being in general. I never had a best friend before i did have friends but they aren't real friends just the ones I meet everyday in school. If someone could read my mind, they would probably spit on me. I wish I had never been born. I feel useless at everything. Sometimes, I wish I had been born an orphan. I would have been gone a long time ago. I hate that my mom loves me. I hate that she's not strong minded. I can't even take care of simple things. A few days ago, my laptop got short-circuited because of my own stupidity. I don't know how much it will cost to repair or whether it can even be repaired. I don't know what my dad will think of me. I'm scared of everything, even the smallest things. My mind just can't seem to think clearly anymore. I don't want to look forward to my future. I just want the days to pass and to grow old. I'm glad I'm blessed with good people around me.bjt I'm a disgusting person. I wish I weren't like this. I wish I could change, but This is who I am, and I can't change myself. I've never believed in God, but there's a big temple in our town that I'm going to visit one last time for my birthday, which is in four days. I used to play there when I was a kid.   submitted by   /u/newhpman   to   r/TrueOffMyChest [link]   [comments]