I agree. But I know of a 60th birthday party where my friend was the person in charge of getting the birthday girl to the party. She had “scheduled a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant,” showed up to pick the birthday girl up, and she was in pajamas and “didnt want to go to dinner anymore.” Ironically, it was because she felt like no one made her birthday feel special. So, it was either gently tell her about the surprise and get her to dress up, or cancel on 30 people waiting, or have her show up in “not cute” clothes. My friend chose to tell the birthday girl and did it in a way where she made the birthday girl swear to act excited and like she didn’t know about the surprise (like “letting her in on the secret”), which worked. Her surprised acting apparently was very feigned, and they were very late, but there are great pictures! I think decisions were made by Nancy’s sister that I would’ve not made. But I also think Nancy is being a stick in the mud.