Bethany Petrik/Getty ImagesBook Week, costume parties and other dress-up days can be great fun for children. Parents and carers may picture their child wearing their favourite superhero or princess costume, enthusiastically joining in celebrations.But some kids may not like the idea of dressing up. Many adults and children may face this situation as daycares and primary schools encourage dress ups for Book Week, which starts this week.How can you navigate this situation without adding too much pressure? Why might children dislike dressing up?It can help to be curious about why children don’t want to dress up, rather than immediately trying to persuade them to join in.For some kids, the issue will be sensory. Costumes can be itchy, hot, restrictive or simply feel different from their usual clothes. Masks, hats, face paint, wigs and unusual shoes can be particularly uncomfortable. Other children might dislike being the centre of attention. Walking into school dressed differently can feel incredibly exposing, particularly if they are shy or anxious. They may worry about standing out, being laughed at, or simply not feeling like themselves in front of others.Sometimes it’s also simply preference. Not all children enjoy pretend play in this way. They may prefer to engage with books, stories and characters without physically becoming them.How children perceive themselves is importantBody image can also play a role for some kids. Children can become aware of how their bodies look from as young as three or four when they spend more time with other children and notice differences.They may feel uncomfortable dressing as a character who is portrayed as very pretty, glamorous or feminine, or as someone who is muscular or strong. They may feel they don’t look like the character, or simply that the image doesn’t fit with how they see themselves. The important thing is not to assume reluctance to dress up means there is a deeper problem such as depression or anxiety. It may be about comfort, personality, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, social confidence, body image, or simply not enjoying costumes.These are some ways parents and carers can help make their children feel more comfortable.1. Try not to make it a bigger issueIf your child is reluctant, avoid comments such as “don’t be silly”, “everyone else will be doing it” or “you’ll regret it if you don’t”. Even well-intentioned reassurance can make a child feel that their discomfort isn’t being heard. Instead, try asking:What don’t you like about dressing up?This can help start a conversation about what the main issues are. 2. Let them decideThere are usually ways for kids to participate without wearing an elaborate costume. Giving them opportunities to participate in decisions that affect them, such as what they wear, can support their sense of autonomy and wellbeing. To encourage your child to make their own choices you might ask:What would make the day feel comfortable for you?They may decide they’d prefer to wear a t-shirt featuring a favourite book character, carry a prop, wear a hat or badge, dress in the character’s colours, or take the book along itself. 3. Keep language neutralFocusing too much on how a child looks can inadvertently make the experience more about appearance. This means adults should try to avoid making comments based on looks such as “you look so pretty” or “look at those muscles!”.Instead, focus on the story, the character, your child’s creativity and, most importantly, whether they are enjoying themselves.Children feel more comfortable when adults show them their comfort matters, that there are different ways to participate, and that belonging doesn’t depend on dressing or looking a certain way.The goal is to help children feel included and participate in a way that works for them.Vivienne Lewis writes for Australian Academic Press and The Canberra Weekly. She is also a member of the Australian Psychological Society.