It’s always disorienting when someone shares a piece of their past that you probably wish you didn’t know. A TikToker known as Steph, who goes by .auntsteph, recently made many of her viewers feel that way when she opened up about a major, shocking, life decision she made back in 2016. In a video that has now racked up over 928K views, she alleged, “I married a man that murdered his first wife.” Her video confused the TikTok community, not just because of her story but also because she began to giggle. Some viewers saw the nervous laughter as delight; personally, it seemed like mortification. Steph claimed, “So, before I ever said I do, I knew that he had taken the life of his first wife. So, he spent 19 years in prison. Um, in a Texas prison. And one month out of prison I met him, and within seven months we were married and we stayed married for two years.” She attributes these choices to being an addict at the time. She mentioned, “And I share this because my mindset was really messed up when I was partying a lot, right. And you know, like some of the guys that I have gone out with, oh Lord, um. Like the last dude I went out with, he had tattoos all over his face, and he had a fake tattoo beard. Oh my God. Like, not that I’m like a prize or anything, but that was my mindset when I was in active addiction. Like that was what I was attracted to.” Steph had fought addiction for 30 years before becoming sober She used this story to highlight how much her perspective has shifted since finding sobriety. In the caption of her post, she wrote that when she met him, she thought “I won the jackpot… I really did. He was so nice, so passive, he said all the right things, and he seemed very remorseful for what he had done.” She wrote, “At that time, I truly believed that people needed and deserved a second chance because I knew that I wanted people to look past some of the things that I had done in my own life. Looking back now, it’s just crazy how much my mindset has changed.” Now, it should be noted that this is her story and her perspective. It isn’t verified fact. @.auntsteph Back in 2016, I married a man who murdered his first wife. And when I tell you guys that I thought I won the jackpot… I really did. He was so nice, so passive, he said all the right things, and he seemed very remorseful for what he had done. At that time, I truly believed that people needed and deserved a second chance because I knew that I wanted people to look past some of the things that I had done in my own life. Looking back now, it’s just crazy how much my mindset has changed. Life has a way of teaching us things, and sometimes the things we believe so strongly at one point in our lives look very different when we gain more wisdom and experience. #StoryTime #MyLifeStory #LifeLessons #PersonalGrowth #ThingsIDidntKnow ♬ original sound – I_am_that_girl_steph It is scientifically proven that addiction impacts perception and decision-making. According to the Foundation of Change, addiction is a chronic, relapsing brain disorder that physically alters the brain’s structure. It is not just about willpower. Prolonged substance use hijacks the brain’s reward system by flooding it with dopamine. Over time, the brain becomes less sensitive to natural rewards, making the substance the primary focus. Crucially, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive functions like judgment, impulse control, and weighing consequences, gets weakened by chronic substance use. The Foundation of Change notes that this creates a neurological imbalance where the brain favors short-term rewards over long-term consequences. For instance, last year, Jason Biggs explained how he climbed into the trash bin just to score another hit of cocaine. This explains why someone in active addiction might struggle to assess risks or see the long-term impact of their choices. For instance, last year, an intoxicated Florida man drove into an airfield and tried to steal a plane. It is a physiological reality rather than a simple character flaw. @.auntsteph I married a man that murdered his first wife, and a lot of you guys have been asking for the story. Some of you guys are calling me the OG bird. Some of you guys are calling me an ostrich. Some of you guys are judging me, and some of you guys genuinely want to know how any of this happened. This story is going to have several parts because there’s no way I can fit everything into just a few minutes. A lot of people think I should be ashamed to share this part of my life, but I’m not. It’s part of my story. I did a lot of dumb crap, and I’m not going to pretend I didn’t. My past is my past, and I’m not afraid to talk about it because it helped shape who I am today. If you want the whole story, stick around because Part 1 is just the beginning. #StoryTime #TrueStory #MyStory #LifeStory #RealTalk ♬ original sound – I_am_that_girl_steph Many people on TikTok were left flabbergasted by the revelation. One user stated, “It’s not funny. He killed her and you are laughing.” Another user wrote, “I’d say lead with the addiction part.” Some users were clearly unsettled, with one remarking, “Imagine sharing this for free.” Some recognized the context of her recovery. One user pointed out, “everyone is missing the point . she said she was in active addiction. you guys are lucky to not understand. she’s laughing because it’s so far from her sober mind she can’t even believe it. addiction is a monster.” In a follow-up post, Steph shared an image of herself and her ex with the text, “Was single for 8 years. Just to end up marrying a man who unalived his first wife.” The reactions were just as blunt, with one user writing, “I miss when we had things we didn’t talk about.” @.auntsteph I’m not sharing my story because I’m proud of the mistakes I’ve made. I’m sharing it because I’m not ashamed of the testimony God gave me through them. I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but I refuse to hide the chapters of my life that show how much God has changed me. My past is part of my story, but it doesn’t define who I am today. If my story helps one person know that God can take a broken life and make something beautiful out of it, then it’s worth sharing. This is my story… #MyTestimony #NotAshamed #GodsGrace #JesusChangedMe #MyStory ♬ original sound – I_am_that_girl_steph The Foundation of Change explains that thanks to neuroplasticity, time, sobriety, and practice can help people develop the skills to evaluate consequences and break the cycle of reactive decision-making. As Steph herself noted, “Life has a way of teaching us things, and sometimes the things we believe so strongly at one point in our lives look very different when we gain more wisdom and experience.”