About an hour after what may have been his final start in Toronto as a member of the Blue Jays, Kevin and Taylor Gausman, holding hands, walked onto the Rogers Centre field, found a spot up the left-field line, plopped down against the wall and talked. The veteran right-hander’s wife wasn’t supposed to be in the city, and he didn’t know she’d flown in until he returned to the clubhouse following his outing and saw a picture from her on his phone. Partly due to in-season blinders, partly out of devotion to the club he’s been such a vital part of the past five years, Gausman was trying to avoid thinking about a possibility that’s increasingly set to become a reality. In case Tuesday night was it, she didn’t want to miss it.“I didn’t really want to go on the field, to be honest,” Gausman told Sportsnet on Wednesday. “She just kind of told me, like, ‘Hey, let’s go onto the field for a little while,’ not really thinking too much of it, but now I’m glad we did. The biggest thing, I really hope that I’m able to come back here, at least next weekend, just like one last time.”Whether Gausman gets that final hurrah — his turn next comes up Sunday at Fenway Park against the Boston Red Sox, followed by Aug. 1 against the visiting St. Louis Cardinals — is one of many difficult questions before the Blue Jays ahead of the trade deadline, all but certain to feature subtraction.The moments shared by the Gausmans on Tuesday night are reflective of the human toll that comes with that type of reset, with lives turned upside down, goals not met, clubhouse relationships severed, all often abruptly.With Blue Jays’ playoff hopes dwindling, Gausman reflects on time in TorontoAs they sat on the field Tuesday night, they shared memories of their time in Toronto and felt gratitude, Gausman at one point saying to Taylor that they were lucky to have been at a place so long that they’d be sad to leave. His free agency had come down to the Blue Jays and New York Mets, and he called coming north “the best decision I could have possibly made.”It’s been an eventful five years, Gausman signing a $110-million deal that expires after the season just before owners imposed a lockout Dec. 1, 2021, with another likely coming this off-season as that collective bargaining agreement ends. In between are three post-season appearances, an all-star selection, a trip to the World Series and countless lifelong memories, all of which make the thought of leaving so difficult, no matter how well he knows the harsh realities of asset management in the majors.“The problem is this place is so great,” Gausman said during a separate conversation with Sportsnet and The Athletic. “When you go other places, you risk it not being like that. That’s kind of where I’m at. I mean, I wouldn’t want to go anywhere if I’m being completely honest. I would love for us to turn this around, whether that’s post-season or whatever. I would like to finish my tenure here, like I set out to do when I signed here. But I also realize that it’s a business and there’s only so much you can control.”At 46-56 following Wednesday’s 4-2 loss to Tampa Bay, their playoff odds are down to a season-low 8.9 per cent as calculated by FanGraphs, the position the Blue Jays are in dictates the type of summer they’ve tried to avoid.Like so many around the club, Gausman is at a loss to explain how this season has unravelled to this extent, given how many returning pieces there are from the team that came within a hair of winning the World Series a year ago, “and the guys that we added have been great, they’ve done everything we’ve asked them.”“I’m a part of that; I haven’t been very good, especially the last month,” said Gausman. “So that’s where you kind of try to think about, like, is this it? If this is it, then do I want to have another chance at a ring? But then I think about my family, and it’s like, you go somewhere where you don’t know anybody, and to be honest, any place you go, family-wise, it’s not going to stack up to here. That’s just the nature of the beast. That’s kind of where it’s at right now.”Gausman’s no-trade list emergesIn a market projecting to have a limited number of starting pitchers available, Gausman should have a strong market, even amid a difficult stretch in an up-and-down season. His post-season pedigree matters at a time when acquiring arms worthy of starting a playoff game matters, but so too will how he looks Sunday against the Red Sox, a team enjoying the type of resurgence the Blue Jays felt capable of, and perhaps the Cardinals, if he makes that start.Gausman does have some control with an eight-team no-trade clause — Cincinnati, Milwaukee, Detroit, Seattle, Pittsburgh, the Athletics, White Sox and Mets, according to an industry source — and that came up, for the first time, as he and Taylor talked Tuesday night.“The weird thing is, like in the past, those have been the teams that weren’t in a position to keep their season going, and this is really the first year where there’s eight teams, you can look at a handful of them and be like, you know this team’s in first place, this team is right on the cusp,” said Gausman. “So that’s where the whole do I want to go somewhere, do I not want to go anywhere (comes up). “I would love to finish here, but at the same time, I’d love to have another opportunity. But at the same time, it wouldn’t mean as much as it meant last year, you know?”That, of course, is the price of the season the Blue Jays are having, the team forced to make decisions they don’t want to make, players forced to face situations they don’t want to face. In the outfield Tuesday night, the Gausmans sat up against the wall and contemplated it all.“The more I think about it, I’m just really lucky that the fanbase embraced me and my family and we’ve had some great moments here,” said Gausman. “But it does kind of leave a sour taste in your mouth that after all the great times, now we’re at this spot. So it kind of sucks that it comes down to that.”