Asking something like "are there any family or friends that can help you?" is different from saying "go ask the man you laid down and spread your legs for!" or "Well, where's the father? Why don't you go ask him?" on the obvious assumption he just took off or is a deadbeat or something. It's fairly clear what attitude you are asking the question with. Do you think it generally doesn't occur to people to ask the child's father before asking for help online?