"Did you know, in fact, that the big man upstairs is a huge fan of pro wrestling. Oh yeah, he’s a huge fan of Slick Ric Flair until Flair got drunk and waggled his p*nis at a flight attendant. And he always loved ‘Superfly’ Jimmy Snuka. In fact, God had eighth-row centre seats with Moses and Joseph when Superfly jumped off the top of the cage in Philadelphia. But then, Snuka, well, you know, Snuka apparently murdered his side piece. So that sucked too. "And, of course, just like the rest of us, God always loved the big fat guys in pro wrestling. Big fat Bundy, Kamala, even a fatter ‘Mala. And, of course, Uncle Elmer, the big, fat, lovable, dumb hillbilly until, of course, big, dumb, fat Uncle Elmer sold too many fake Rolexes to the boys backstage and earned himself a spot in the hot seat. An extra big, fat spot for his big, fat ass in Hell. "Nonetheless, God still loves pro wrestling. He’s still a fan of guys like myself, Pastor McDickles. People like me are the reason God keeps watching pro wrestling. Even though many of his favourites over time have let him down, but not I. I will never let Big G down, and I will never let JCW down. So I’m coming. I’m coming to JCW and I’m carrying God’s love for professional wrestling on my back. And you know what? I’m proud to do it. So I’ll see you soon, b*tch."   submitted by   /u/BreedingFenrys [link]   [comments]