A. Frank/peopleimages.com - stock.adobe.com Balancing a career and family is a modern parenting hurdle, and remote work might seem like the perfect solution. One expectant mother in r/beyondthebump thought she might be able to manage her flexible job while caring for her newborn to avoid long daycare waitlists and mom guilt. Hoping for a best-of-both-worlds scenario, she asked this question: I’m looking to hear about your experiences if you work from home and also care for your baby. Do you have any childcare set up at all?I work from home and my husband does not. My job is pretty quiet, flexible, and not super demanding. I don’t manage a team and for the most part I don’t have a ton of calls every day, though things do come up here and there. I can rearrange my calendar as I need to, and I generally work the hours I need to in order to get deliverables done on time, however I need to be available 9-5. Sometimes there are urgent things that come up and unexpected meetings, and I do have a “busy season.”My husband leaves the house around 6-7am and comes home around 3-4. I usually work from 9-5, sometimes earlier or later. I am 13w along, and need to start considering childcare in the event there is a waiting list. Before I got pregnant, I was adamant on full time day care. But now I feel the mom guilt at the thought of leaving my 3 month old baby at a daycare. I know these feelings will only be stronger once the baby is born. On the other hand, I would feel guilty taking care of a baby while also working full time as there are days work and a baby are just not predictable. I don’t think we need full time care. I was thinking maybe a 4-5 hours a day, 3-4 days a week. I am considering a part time nanny to come to our house or an in-home daycare that is close to our house. We really just need to get through the first year at least, and i think I would be more comfortable putting my child into daycare for the social and educational enrichment. I just need some realistic expectations from others who tried juggling a similar dynamic. How did things go for you? My family is mostly SAHMs, and (as of now) I feel I would go stir crazy as a SAHM. In the comments, redditors deliver a swift reality check, sharing personal experiences, professional warnings, and clear advice. The harsh reality of multitasking Experienced parents are quick to point out that juggling professional tasks and infant care simultaneously is incredibly difficult. The idea of pulling double duty often crumbles when put into practice, as both roles demand undivided attention. Comment in r/beyondthebump Everyone said it wasn’t realistic. I thought I was an exception. I am not. I have a 4 month old and even with my remote, flexible, part time job it’s impossible. Babies are demanding! I’ll go way out on a limb here and say if you by chance end up w a baby who miraculously sleeps a lot and you only work 10 hours a week or something - maybe. But yeah, it’s like 95% chance it’s a no go. Comment in r/beyondthebump Yea looking back I was so cute lol. I tried to bring her to my office when she was like 3 months old. My brain literally could not even focus on work for one minute. She's 16 months now and it would be worse than ever. If I want to be productive at work my baby can't be anywhere near me which totally sucks but true. Maybe when they are old enough to entertain themselves? Comment in r/beyondthebump It’s just not feasible. You’re either neglecting your kid or neglecting your job. It’s one thing trying to make it work for circumstances like when a child is ill or daycare is closed, but please do yourself a favor and arrange childcare. Prioritizing child development Beyond the stress on the working parent, redditors emphasize the impact on the child. They argue that dedicated childcare provides necessary engagement and learning opportunities that a distracted parent cannot offer during business hours. Comment in r/beyondthebump I have a flexible WFH job, but I also have a nanny because I want him to get the attention he deserves during the day. She’s focused on his development, reading to him, and working on milestones in a way I just couldn’t consistently do while working. The best part about WFH is I still get to be really present and spend time with him throughout the day too. There are days where I get a random project thrown at me or I have calls back to back and I can’t leave my office to even eat lol. Some days I have way more time in the day and we go to a Mommy and Me class or baby swim lessons (usually twice a week and I block my work calendar). That was very important to me, I wanted to work but also be present with my baby Comment in r/beyondthebump I did this until my baby was about 9 months (with occasional help from my parents). It's unsustainable. As soon as my baby started crawling and walking (early walker), it was nearly impossible. I have since hired a babysitter for 2 days of the week, my parents or sister help the other 2 days and then Friday is usually our alone day where I have no help. It's much better this way. I was burnt out before hiring the babysitter and having my parents commit. It's really hard when your baby starts to do more. I also have a pretty laid back job but it just wasn't feasible anymore. Professional risks and consequences Trying to hide a baby in the background isn't just stressful; it can jeopardize a career. Several commenters point out that many employers explicitly forbid combining work with active childcare, leading to severe professional consequences. Comment in r/beyondthebump Not realistic and super stressful. Imagine having a crying baby while your manager is trying to call you via teams/slack. Or if during your weekly scheduled meeting that’s during naptime, your baby won’t go down. Our first was born in 2020 during COVID and daycares were shut down. If it weren’t an absolute necessity to keep him home while I was working, he absolutely would’ve needed to be in daycare. Comment in r/beyondthebump It is not realistic and if your job found out I am assuming that they would not be happy. We got a nanny because even though I WFH, I need to be focused for what I am getting paid to do. I can't prioritize my kid if I am working unfortunately and give them the attention that they need. My kid was super clingy and still is so it would be too demanding to do both. Comment in r/beyondthebump I know someone who is in deep trouble at work for doing this, because her work is lagging behind Comment in r/beyondthebump As someone who works in employment law, there is a reason that more and more employers have made it explicitly clear that employees in remote roles are still expected to have separate childcare during work hours. I have seen multiple employees fired because it became clear that they were acting as childcare when they should be working. The rare exceptions Despite the overwhelming chorus of warnings, a small minority of redditors argue that it can work under highly specific circumstances. Success, they say, depends entirely on the nature of the job, family support, and a highly flexible schedule. Comment in r/beyondthebump Everyone says it's impossible, but I've been doing it for the last year. It's hard don't get me wrong and requires a lot of flexibility. Sometimes I work on the weekends or wake up extra early before my baby and get work done and in the evening after she goes to bed. I work through her nap times and now that she's getting better at self play I find a few more windows . Because my job is flexible I am able to take longer breaks and sometimes a pretty long lunch. My mom lives close by and is a huge help during the times I have meetings. Depending on your job and your baby's temperament it can be done. You get creative and adaptive. I love all the time we get to spend together and honestly I don't think I could afford a quality daycare in my area. My spouse is a teacher with various breaks throughout the year so that also really helps me recharge. Comment in r/beyondthebump Many of us worked from home without childcare against our will during the Covid lockdowns. Very few people can do it successfully. Either your slack off at work or the child is left alone on the floor or in a container or is on your lap 12 inches from a glowing computer screen. That being said, the early days are probably the easiest if you don't have to look presentable on camera. Babies can be quite chill if you hold them. Then suddenly they are mobile and wanting much more engagement and want to spend their time physically exploring their area/surroundings and expanding what they play with. If you are able to take breaks to sit on the floor with them, take them to playgrounds or even to your backyard, help guide them feeding, etc and then work during naps, you could be fine. People definitely do it, but these posts usually end up with most people advising against it. I get wishing to delay daycare; I love daycare but wish I could've waited until 12-18 months to start. But, America. Part time nanny is a great alternative! Finding the ideal balance between career aspirations and motherhood is a personal journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. While working from home offers tremendous flexibility, bringing a newborn into the mix introduces complex challenges that most find completely unmanageable without dedicated childcare support. What would you do? Read the full discussion in this thread in r/beyondthebump, and find more conversations like this in r/workingmoms, r/Parenting, and r/Mommit. This story highlights the perspectives of Reddit users, not Reddit, Inc. Some posts or comments may be lightly edited for clarity. Questions or concerns? Contact us at upvoted@reddit.com.