As we recuperate from Halloween, American families either dread or eagerly anticipate the even more gluttonous holiday that is Thanksgiving. A couple of years ago, we dutifully reported that 46 million turkeys are consumed annually during Thanksgiving meals. But watch the turkey so human that he’ll want to make you think before you gobble up another one of his kind.Stewart the turkey lives with his loving family, which includes a variety of other animals; and in multiple videos posted by his human caretakers, his love for soccer can clearly be observed. He likes to shake his tail feathers and play with the ball, which has been cutely dubbed his “girlfriend.”Stewart is not only a regular Erling Haaland but also a real comedian — in one video he spread his feathers, as if courting a pretty female, for a pair of Crocs. Stewart might just be the only intelligent being on the planet who finds Crocs sexy, but it’s always good when a provocateur comes along to challenge public opinion. Stewart, indeed, seems to be interested in aesthetic matters, as he appeared quite entranced by a live painting demonstration.This Adorable Turkey Loves Playing Soccer, and the Internet Can’t Get EnoughBefore Stewart, his family owned a turkey named Lawrence. Lawrence became a viral sensation for making uncouth noises with the help of his human mother… Verily, turkeys make fantastic pets, often kind and sometimes even a little too tolerant. I can add a personal anecdote: The moron running the camp I attended as a child kept a turkey on a leash for all the little brats to play with (or rather, abuse), and that turkey truly displayed the patience of a saint. All that said, perhaps it just might be better to make friends with turkeys than to roast them. According to a recent study by The Vacationer, as picked up by the likes of Fox News, nearly 35% of Americans apparently dislike turkey as a dish. Still, the tradition sadly persists of having turkey for Thanksgiving, perhaps more as a centerpiece, or something to be pecked around and saved for the trash, than an actual food that anyone at the table enjoys consuming. View this post on Instagram The post Meet the Soccer-Playing Turkey Who Will Sell You on Tofu This Thanksgiving appeared first on VICE.