Actor Shahana Goswami recently reflected on her brief relationship with actor Milind Soman, with whom she had a 21-year age gap. “We were together for a year and a half or two years maybe at that time. Since my childhood, I’ve had a lot of relationships. There was always a lot of pain that followed. But what I realised at that point was that until I don’t know how to love myself, I am not going to feel loved in a relationship. Because no matter how much somebody is doing something from their perspective, I will not be able to receive it. And I feel judged, and I feel small, and I’ll feel insecure because I am not feeling good about myself. So that realisation came around that time, and I broke up with my then-boyfriend, saying that I am realising that this is a ‘me’ problem, and until I realise this, nothing is going to work. So, I need to spend time by myself…to start working on loving myself,” the Zwigato actor told the Breakthrough Moments with Priyanka Bhatt podcast, hosted by entrepreneur Priyanka Bhatt.The couple broke up in 2013.DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.As a psychotherapist and life coach, Delnna Rrajesh noted how our ability to give and receive love is deeply influenced by the relationship we have with ourselves. “If we don’t believe we are worthy of love, no amount of reassurance, affection or commitment from another person will ever feel enough. We may hear the words ‘I love you,’ but internally we continue asking, ‘Do they really mean it?’ We may receive appreciation, yet dismiss it. We may be deeply loved, yet constantly fear being abandoned,” said Delnna.The problem is not always that love is missing. Sometimes, it is that our self-worth is. “Unfortunately, self-love has become one of the most misunderstood concepts today. It is often associated with self-care, holidays, shopping, affirmations or treating yourself. While those things may feel good, they are not the foundation of self-love. Genuine self-love begins with self-respect. Self-respect is choosing not to betray yourself for acceptance. It is refusing to abandon your values just to avoid disappointing someone. It is keeping the promises you make to yourself. It is protecting your peace with the same commitment with which you protect the people you love,” reflected Delnna.Delnna expressed how many of us have become so accustomed to our inner critic that we no longer notice how cruel it has become. “We tolerate self-talk that we would never tolerate from another human being. We call ourselves failures, question our worth, minimise our achievements and expect ourselves to keep adjusting, sacrificing and compromising simply to gain someone else’s approval,” said Delnna. Here’s what you need to consider (Photo: Freepik)Another misconception is that self-love is about believing you are perfect. It isn’t. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Priyanka Bhatt (@breakthroughmomentss)“Self-love is being able to look at your imperfections without withdrawing your own compassion. It is holding yourself accountable without humiliating yourself. It is correcting yourself without condemning yourself. It is recognising that your mistakes require responsibility, not self-hatred,” said Delnna.DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.