I'm so sorry you are in that position! I understand, I lost both my parents unexpectedly. I'm also young enough that it was not really something my friends, even my lifelong ones, had experienced or were comfortable with the situation and the emotions. I learned through grief counseling that it's pretty common for people to give you about 2 months to start acting normal again or else they pull away. It's a weird thing to never receive another birthday or Christmas gift. Or something random just because someone who loves you thought of you or it reminded them of you. I know that sounds materialistic and selfish, but I really do mean that what's missing is that touched feeling of really being thought of by someone and feeling cared about. I'm so sorry you're going through this. If you PM me the date, you'll be sure to receive a birthday present from me 🤗