NEW YORK—Calling the breakthrough a significant step forward in xenotransplantation, New York University doctors confirmed Monday they had successfully transplanted a pig foreskin onto a circumcised human. “This successful operation proves that pig penises are a viable, long-term solution for circumcised patients in desperate need of working foreskin,” lead surgeon Robert Langford said of the procedure performed late last year, expressing hope that the new development in cross-species phallus grafts could help address the nearly 130 million Americans on the national waiting list to receive a foreskin donation. “We took porcine tissue from a specially bred, well-endowed pig and genetically edited the sample in order to reduce the chance that it would be rejected by the host penis. For the first time in history, we’ve been able to confirm without a doubt that renewed sensitivity and enhanced sexual pleasure can be safely transferred from pig to man. Imagine a world in which doctors can promise terminally circumcised patients a second chance at stimulation.” At press time, Dr. Langford announced that after a record 93 days, the penis had died. The post Scientists Successfully Transplant Pig Foreskin Onto Circumcised Man appeared first on The Onion.