We live in a superficial world. There’s no way around that one. Many people in the dating scene choose their partners solely based on looks and attraction, which naturally sets them up for failure. If you have nothing in common or don’t take the time to really know a person, you might miss major red flags and incompatibilities.However, some people are prioritizing the right things, like personality, life goals, values, and morals. Of course, there needs to be a base level of attraction for two people to work together in a romantic and sexual relationship. However, they don’t need to be model material to deserve a chance. If you’re waiting for an influencer to walk through your door and woo you off your feet, good luck.This brings us to the most recent dating trend: shrekking, which basically involves intentionally dating someone you’re not attracted to in hopes that they will treat you better than the more “attractive” suitors out there.What Is ‘Shrekking’?Shrekking refers to a dating tactic where you settle for someone who doesn’t meet your standards, especially when it comes to physical appearance. Rude, I know. I want to make it crystal clear that I do not align with this concept. There’s much more to a person than how they look. Not to mention, we all have different types, and a deep emotional connection can build physical and sexual intimacy. So, this point is pretty much moot.But for the more shallow daters out there, well, at least it’s encouraging them to prioritize the right things. Maybe just don’t look at it as if you’re “settling” or “dating down.” Putting yourself on a pedestal above your lover will only create unfair dynamics or assumptions.“The term might be new, but the behavior isn’t,” Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, told USA Today. “Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Where it backfires is when someone assumes that just because they’re dating ‘down’ in looks, they’ll automatically be treated better.”What Does It Mean to Get ‘Shrekked’?Getting “shrekked” means dating below your standards and still getting hurt by the person. I mean, if you’re going into a relationship thinking you’re above your partner, then maybe it serves you right…If you’re dating with your heart rather than your ego, it can be painful to continue to get let down, especially when your priorities are in check. But you should never assume someone will treat you right based on looks alone. That’s just setting you up for a disaster.Rather, go off how the person treats you. (I know, what a concept!) How do you feel when you’re around them? Do they celebrate your wins, support you when you’re down, make time for you, and respect your boundaries? That matters far more than whether they’re your physical type or a “Shrek” in your eyes.“For those who’ve been ‘Shrekked,’ the goal isn’t to retreat back to only dating conventionally attractive people; it’s to develop better assessment skills for character, values and emotional availability regardless of what package they come in,” Chan told USA Today. “Physical attraction matters in romantic relationships, but it shouldn’t be the inverse predictor of good treatment that some people assume it to be.”The post There’s a New Dating Term Called ‘Shrekking’—and It’s Not What You Think appeared first on VICE.