We’ve all seen the daily mantra people while doomscrolling the night away. The ones who swear repeating “Everything works out for me” a dozen times a day fixed their anxiety, their dating life, their posture, their skin, their credit score, their aura, their everything. But do positive affirmations actually do anything?Positive affirmations sell a simple promise. Repeat a good sentence about yourself often enough, and your brain will stop dunking on you. Madeleine Fraser, a psychologist writing in The Conversation, traces the idea back to self-affirmation theory, introduced by psychologist Claude Steele in the late 1980s. The theory says people want to see themselves as “adequate” and “worthy,” and threats to that self-image can spike shame and harsh self-talk.The science gives affirmations a cautious thumbs-up, with a lot of fine print. A 2025 meta-analysis in American Psychologist looked at 67 studies and found self-affirmation interventions produced small but statistically significant improvements across several well-being outcomes. People reported improvements, just not the kind that changes your life overnight.There’s also a catch that people skip when they post their morning mirror pep talk. A 2009 study in Psychological Science found that positive self-statements helped participants with high self-esteem feel better, while participants with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating “I’m a lovable person.” The authors summed it up with a line that should come printed on every “manifest your best life” candle. These statements can “backfire for the very people who ‘need’ them the most.”Fraser also flags the cultural trapdoor. If affirmations become a rule that you must feel upbeat, they can turn into toxic positivity, where you bury hard feelings, then feel ashamed for even having them. Forced optimism can also blur your judgment in unsafe situations, where the healthiest move involves paying attention to reality, not polishing it.If you’re going to do affirmations, keep them believable. Pick statements tied to your values, not a hype slogan you don’t buy. “I can handle a hard moment” lands better than “I am unstoppable” while you’re dealing with five deadlines at once.Here’s where affirmations can turn into toxic positivity.You use them to shove down feelings you’d normally name.You pressure yourself to “reframe” right away, even during genuine stress.You feel ashamed when the mantra doesn’t change your mood.You stay upbeat in situations where safety and reality checks should lead.Here are approaches psychologists keep finding useful.Practice self-compassion during stress, which research links to better psychological well-being.Use distanced self-talk by using your name or “you,” which studies link to reduced emotional reactivity.Pick a specific, believable next step you can take today, which keeps self-talk grounded.Affirmations can help, especially when they’re believable and tied to values. They can also irritate an already-fragile self-image. If your mantra feels like a lie, don’t fight harder. Switch tools.The post Why Positive Affirmations Make You Feel Worse When You Actually Need Them appeared first on VICE.