Grief is hard for any family. But when a child is grieving too, parents often panic: Do I explain it? Do I protect them? What if I say the wrong thing?Here’s the thing: children don’t grieve like adults. They often dip in and out of sadness. They might cry one moment, then ask for a snack or want to play the next. It can look confusing, but it’s normal. Their minds take grief in small doses because it’s a lot to carry.Grief can also show up in ways you don’t expect: clinginess, anger, withdrawing, sleep problems, tummy aches, trouble concentrating or misbehaving.Sometimes children repeat the loss through play or keep asking the same questions. That isn’t them being dramatic, it’s them trying to understand something that feels too big.So what actually helps?Use clear, simple words. If a death has happened, avoid phrases like “went to sleep” or “went away”, these can scare children or make them anxious about sleep and separation. Gentle honesty is kinder than confusion.Let feelings be allowed. Children need to know it’s okay to feel sad, angry or worried. Instead of “don’t cry”, try: “I’m here with you.” That sense of safety matters more than perfect answers.Keep routines steady. When life feels shaken, predictable routines (meals, school, bedtime) help children feel held. It doesn’t remove the grief, it gives them a safe base to process it.Give them ways to express it. Some children talk. Others draw, write or play it out. You can suggest making a memory box, writing a letter or sharing favourite stories about the person they miss.And remember: grief lives in the body too. A cuddle, a walk, breathing slowly together or quiet time can help a child settle when emotions feel overwhelming.If your child stays intensely distressed for a long time, withdraws completely or struggles to cope day to day, getting extra support is a strong and caring step.You don’t need perfect words. Your child just needs to know: I’m not alone in this.Tag someone who needs to know•