The news is full of reports from the moon-bound Integrity, otherwise known as Artemis II. Mostly, the news is good, but there has been one “Houston, we have a problem…” moment. The space toilet, otherwise known as the Universal Waste Management System or UWMS is making a burning smell while in use. While we would love to be astronauts, we really don’t want to go ten days without using the can, and it made us wonder how, exactly, the astronauts answered the call of nature.The Old DaysBack in the Apollo-era, going to the bathroom was a messy business. The capsule wasn’t that big, and there were no women on board. So you simply strapped an adhesive-rimmed bag or tube to yourself and answered nature’s call with your two closest coworkers right there.Space Shuttle facilities (by [Svobodat] CC BY-SA 3.0)To add insult to injury, the “#2 bags” needed some packet mixed in to keep it from going bad in the bag before it could return to Earth for — no kidding — scientific study.The system was far from perfect. Apollo 8 and Apollo 10 both had to do some housekeeping due to leaky bags.Astronaut Ken Mattingly reportedly said, “Man, one of the feats of my existence the other day was, in 42 minutes, I strapped on a bag, went out of both ends, and ate lunch…. I used to want to be the first man to Mars. This has convinced me that, if we got to go on Apollo, I ain’t interested.”Still, it was better than the first Mercury launch, where Alan Shepard famously relieved himself in his spacesuit while sitting on the pad for over eight hours. Later missions used hoses.Things got slightly better with Skylab, where there was more room. The Shuttle also had a toilet. You got a curtain for privacy, but you couldn’t go #1 and #2 at the same time. Also, apparently, the contraptions were not easily workable for females.Modern TimesThis UMWS went to the ISS (NASA)The early International Space Station used a similar system to the shuttle. However, in 2020, the UWMS debuted. It is easier to use for the female anatomy, and it has a door. This is essentially the same bathroom crammed into Integrity. Given the size of the capsule, we doubt the door is more than a symbol, but still.Rather than explain the UWMS operation, you can watch the video below. Note that everyone has their own funnel. There are some things you just don’t want to share.What’s That Smell?We don’t know what the burning smell is on Integrity, but we are sure we are going to find out. One other thing we never quite see addressed is how you clean up afterward. We aren’t sure we want to know.Perhaps it is ironic that the first Artemis mission with a crew is having bathroom problems. After all, the Artemis slogan is “Let’s Go!” You’ll have to finish that joke on your own.Back in 2016, NASA solicited ideas about space toilets. If you have any ideas, maybe drop them a line.