They’re definitely not in the wrong that adopting from the system can mean getting traumatized children, with various problems and health issues they need help with. And possibly getting a teenager at that, who’s been through the system? Yeah, no, that can be rough. I know a couple who took in (and later adopted) 4-year-old twins, who had never brushed their teeth, never had a proper meal, and who were almost feral. The amount of work, time, effort and money they put into those kids was on the sainthood level, but they did it, and those girls are thriving now as teenagers. I wish people willing (and able) to do the work would take in those who need it. Can’t they turn down a placement though, if they’re offered an older child, or must they accept? Anyway, adoption in general, and having kids yourself too, can mean a lot of work. I don’t see why anyone else should have to pay for these people, but again, I don’t think they’re wrong for knowing they wouldn’t be able to handle a teen from the system. It’s better they know, instead of failing a teen in need of help. A baby is a mostly clean slate in comparison, even if you don’t know what kind of health issues they may come with, the raising them portion is at least not far along.