4 min readNew DelhiMar 27, 2026 12:00 PM ISTArchana Puran Singh and Parmeet Sethi hid their wedding for 4 years (Source: Express archive photo)Relationships don’t always follow neat timelines or socially approved paths. Many couples begin their journeys navigating secrecy, family resistance, and unspoken compromises, especially in cultures where marriage is deeply tied to identity, gender roles, and career expectations. This idea surfaced in a recent YouTube video shared by Archana Puran Singh and Parmeet Sethi, who first met in 1988 and have been together for nearly 38 years. The couple reflected on the early years of their relationship, revealing that they secretly married in 1992 and kept it hidden for 4 years due to family opposition and professional concerns. Even today, they continue to address each other’s parents as “uncle” and “aunty,” a habit formed during those years of secrecy.Explaining how this tradition began, Archana said, “We still call them ‘aunty’ and ‘uncle’, and people ask why. He also called my parents uncle and aunty. We were seeing each other for 4 years, and for the next 4 years, we were secretly married. So for 8 years we continued calling them aunty and uncle.” What began as a protective measure gradually became part of their family dynamic.Archana also spoke about why hiding their marriage felt necessary at the time, particularly for her as a woman in a public-facing profession. “We didn’t want anyone to know that we were married,” she said, adding, “So that uncle and aunty is still going on. And everyone is happy with it.” Today, Archana’s mother and Parmeet’s father live with them, reflecting a close-knit household shaped by years of adjustment and understanding.But how do years of secrecy or hiding a relationship shape communication patterns and emotional safety between partners?Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “Long-term secrecy changes how couples learn to talk and how much they allow themselves to feel. When a relationship has to be hidden, partners become emotionally efficient. They communicate in shortcuts, glances, and pauses. This often creates strong emotional intelligence and mutual dependence, a quiet understanding that feels deeply intimate. But secrecy also normalises emotional restraint. Big conversations get postponed, conflict is minimised, vulnerability is rationed.” Hiding milestones offers safety, and careers remain intact, families are managed, and public scrutiny is avoided. (Source: Express archive photo)Over time, he adds, this can make emotional safety “conditional rather than expansive.” The relationship feels protected, but not always fully expressed. If secrecy is later acknowledged and consciously unpacked, it can deepen trust. If it becomes an unexamined habit, it risks turning intimacy into containment.Psychological trade-offs of hiding major milestonesThe trade-off is between external stability and internal expression, notes Raj. Hiding milestones offers safety, and careers remain intact, families are managed, and public scrutiny is avoided. But the psychological cost is muted joy and delayed validation. When life events are not witnessed, they don’t fully land emotionally. “Over time, one partner may carry more of that emotional withholding than the other. Resentment rarely shows up loudly; it settles into exhaustion or quiet withdrawal. The antidote is intentional honesty within the relationship. Couples need to name what was sacrificed, revisit those choices later, and allow space for grief alongside gratitude. When compromises are acknowledged rather than normalised, they remain choices– not emotional debts,” concludes Raj. For more lifestyle news, click here to join our WhatsApp Channel and also follow us on Instagram© IE Online Media Services Pvt Ltd