A pedophile with a passing resemblance to Santa Claus is playing life on easy mode. Come the festive season, parents queue up to put their kids right onto their laps for what appears to be innocent fun, little knowing the sick pleasure that’s being had. Enter 68-year-old Thomas Allen Hicks of Polk County, Florida. He’s a longtime Santa impersonator who was “well-regarded” in the Santa community (which is apparently a thing). When he’s not doing that, he’s a registered Republican, has been a preacher for more than 40 years, and works for a mental health and drug abuse clinic. All of that is in tatters now, as the Polk County Sheriff’s department arrested Hicks, who responded to an online ad from an undercover detective pretending to be a parent offering their fictional 13-year-old daughter for sex. Allen agreed to pay $200 for access to the child, explicitly described how he wanted to violate her, but promised that he’d be “gentle”. Urgh. Ew. He was soon, thankfully, arrested. Santa Claus arrested by Polk County Sheriff’s Office in Lakeland, Florida.Thomas Allen Hicks, 68, appears all over Polk County as Santa Claus. Hicks tried to buy a 13 yo girl for $200 from her “parents” for s*x.18 others arrested during "Operation Child Protector VIII," pic.twitter.com/rF1oiPQPiS— Southern FFA Family (@FFAFamily) April 30, 2026 The real Santa is, apparently, not happy Despite the seriousness of the case, the sheriff’s office appears to have taken this as an opportunity to have a giggle, with Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd assuring us: “I talked to the real Santa Claus today, and he’s pissed. He said, ‘It’s people like that who give me a bad reputation, and I spend all this time going all around the world giving presents to all the good boys and girls. Sheriff, I’m glad you got him locked up.’” If only all arrests of pedophiles could be so lighthearted! But Judd went on to clarify that Allen had been in a prime position to molest kids for years: “Thousands and thousands and thousands of children have sat on this guy’s lap thinking he was Santa Claus when in fact what he was is a child sex predator.” Allen has now been charged with human trafficking, traveling to meet a minor, use of a computer to seduce a child, and use of a two-way communication device to commit a felony. So it’s safe to say that the only place he’s going to bring any festive cheer is prison, and I doubt he’s going to have much fun with the other inmates at Christmas, as by definition they’re already firmly on the naughty list. But our hearts must go out to the kids of Polk County. Thousands of happy childhood memories have just been obliterated as kid after kid grimly realizes that wasn’t Santa’s belt buckle they were feeling dig into them when they sat in his lap.