Horny in a Crowd: How to Have (Safe) Sex at a Music Festival

Wait 5 sec.

Play shy if you want to, but there’s a reason why sex playlists will always be a topic of discussion: fucking to music is mandatory. Add in party favors, and something as small as grazing someone’s arm can feel orgasmic.It’s so common that even EDM.com – the literal website for electronic dance music – has an article on unsafe festival sex, revealing that 92% of the time, festival sex is “completely spontaneous,” while “46% of festival sexual encounters happen without protection.”Want to get in on the pleasure – without bringing home an unwanted friend? Here’s how to capitalize on your weekend of pleasure, and bring orgasms in the mix, from Coachella to Burning Man and beyond. DisclaimersIf the concept of fucking at a festival disgusts you, skip this one because there will be sex, sweat, and everything in between. Public sex is definitelyyyy a public indecency charge, so indulge at your own risk!Best sex positions for festival sexDoggy styleSpooningAny standing sex position that gives you a little leg room to maneuverHygiene Tips for Filthy sexFucking at a festival is going to get… filthy. Being in a crowded lot in the summertime calls for sweat and dancing your ass off. So naturally, it will stink. Because of this, quickies will have a unique after sex smell. SKYN’s Original condoms have “sensual masking,” aka fragrance that dulls the rubbery after sex scent. If you have a super sensitive vulva, though, try Trojan’s non-latex GOAT condoms instead.(opens in a new window)SKYNSKYN Original Condoms 18 Count(opens in a new window)$10.36 at AmazonBuy Now(opens in a new window)(opens in a new window)OEMHand Sanitizer 2-Pack (Hinoki)(opens in a new window)$24.00 at OEMBuy Now(opens in a new window)(opens in a new window)TrojanG.O.A.T. Non-Latex Condoms(opens in a new window)$9.99 at AmazonBuy Now(opens in a new window)Where To FuckFirst things first: We know you guys love doggy style on the dancefloor. So much so, there’s infinite research to support it. But the whole festival can’t consent to watching you fuck, so keep it cute and as discreet as possible.Car camping? That just made your sex life… somewhat easier. And also a bit more grunge. Grab your window covers to 1) block out heat and 2) give you some added privacy during sex in between sets. If you’ve turned your car park into a campsite like everyone else on a budget, make sure to factor in quickies when setting up. Is your car giving more protection or more visibility? Do you have a soft surface to get as rough as you’d like? Blankets and window covers are your best bet. Also, don’t be fooled by the “nook” feeling of your campsite. Sounds travel, especially when you’re feeling the ecstasy of party favors… Now, for the best time: midday when mostly everyone’s at sets (but also the hottest fucking time of the day), or during night sets, or after. EssentialsFestival in the desert? Just know you will be dry. Lube is going to once again be your bestie, just make sure it’s travel-sized. You also need to remain hydrated with water and electrolytes. Not just to make you wetter, but to keep you from passing TF out. Stick with travel-sized lube for convenience, though. You’ll be needing more space for what’s up next. ContraceptionBy now, you know consent and condoms are your essentials for anything sexy. Honestly though, just bring any type of contraception you can fit in your bag.Be mindful of where you’re storing condoms or opt for a cute condom case to keep a pretty reminder on deck.(opens in a new window)Jems for AllJust In Case Condom Case(opens in a new window)$5 at LoverslandBuy Now(opens in a new window)(opens in a new window)SKYNSKYN Non-Latex Condoms(opens in a new window)$8.49 on sale (reg. $8.99) at AmazonBuy Now(opens in a new window)(opens in a new window)Jems for AllJems Ultra-Thin Condoms(opens in a new window)$35 at Jems for AllBuy Now(opens in a new window)(opens in a new window)DameAloe Lube(opens in a new window)$18.00 at DameBuy Now(opens in a new window)Festival-friendly Hygiene ProductsThe porta-potties are… a journey. So we know you’re not washing your hands thoroughly. Not to bring up your mom right now, but you know how moms always wash our hands using a water bottle and a napkin when out and about? That’s a non-negotiable (along with condoms, of course).No one wants coke and weed-covered fingers with nicotine under nails anywhere near their cooter, so be respectful of everyone’s pH. On another note, some people use hand sanitizer, but… the thought of 60% alcohol in my cooter feels very unsexy. Using these to clean up post-sex? More realistic. (opens in a new window)BarePortable Face and Body Wipes 3-pack, 60-count(opens in a new window)$34.99 at AmazonBuy Now(opens in a new window)(opens in a new window)Hello CakeSex Wipes(opens in a new window)$6.00 at Hello CakeBuy Now(opens in a new window)Sex wipes don’t get enough credit. Not only do they do what a porta-potty can’t (help you clean up without facing Valley Fever), some also feature a1 wellness ingredients like collagen and hypoallergenic properties to keep sensitive skin in good health. Not enough time to get to the bathroom post sex? These will cover your before-and-after cleanup. Don’t underestimate the need for blankets! Yes, it’ll be hot, but you also need a soft surface to fuck on. The alternative is rug burn, grass inside you, or worse. Up the antics with a waterproof sex blanket if you’re a squirter. Pee shy? This is where things get trickier, well, if you’re pee shy. We can’t tell you to pee outside of a porta-potty, but if you’ve ever been to Coachella, or any music festival, you know that trekking the desert / festival grounds = Valley Fever.There’s dust everywhere, your blisters grow increasingly worse, and the bathroom is littered with toilet paper galore. Well, you still have to pee or else you’re at risk of a UTI. Refresher: sex, especially doggy style, can transfer bacteria from one spot of the body, all over. Think: anal bacteria in places it’s not meant to be… Trust me, there is nothing worse than your genitals burning from the inside under the hot ass sun, so go pee and wash your hands.Can’t access the porta-potty? Grab those sex wipes. No water available? Use hand sanitizer for your hands, but probably wait until after wiping up any cum, spit, or whatever else sex left behind.If, for any reason, you used sex toys, be prepared to clean them afterward or forfeit using them until you get home. Contest Alert: VICE Playlist ProjectIf you’re making music, VICE just launched the Playlist Project, a global song contest built around real life moments. Instead of genres, you’ll submit songs to a specific category that fits your track. Entries are open now, with cash prizes and VICE social & editorial features on the line. TAP HERE TO LEARN MORE AND ENTERThe post Horny in a Crowd: How to Have (Safe) Sex at a Music Festival appeared first on VICE.