For many people, choosing a partner is not just about compatibility between two individuals, but also about navigating deeply held fears, biases, and protective instincts within the family. This tension was evident in a recent interview with Hauterrfly, in which Supriya Pathak said her mother, Dina Pathak, strongly opposed her relationship. Recalling that phase, she shared, “My mother didn’t like him. My mother didn’t like me. Oh my god… My mother didn’t think that this relationship would work. Okay, it’s been 38 years now, but if she were alive, she would still say ke ‘yeh tere ko chhod ke chala jayega’ (that he will leave you), why, because I have really no idea.” The disapproval went beyond concern, sometimes taking extreme forms to break the relationship.She further revealed, “My mother tried everything to tell me that Pankaj is not the right person. She kind of supposedly investigated him and found out that ‘vo daru bahut peeta hai’ (he drinks a lot of alcohol). He has never had a drop… had alcohol in his whole life. But she investigated and found this out. So she would kind of bring up the topic, or she would come up with this ki ‘dekho ye toh ye karta hai, dekho ye toh ye karta hai’ (see he does this, see he does that). It went on for a long time.” The situation escalated to a breaking point, at which point Supriya had to draw a firm boundary.Describing that moment, she said, “Eventually, one day, I told them that ‘kuch aisa nahi hai (it’s nothing like that), I am getting married on such and such a day. You want to come, you come, you don’t want to come, don’t come.’ She looked at me as if it were the last straw… she said, ‘tumhe paneer pasand hai?’ (Do you like paneer?). I said I like paneer. She said, ‘achha nahi vo Punjabi hai na toh paneer…’ (Okay, well he’s Punjabi, so paneer…). That was her last straw—implying that if you don’t like paneer, you can’t get married to him. So that is how it was (sic).” Interestingly, perspectives can evolve, and she noted that her mother’s view eventually changed, recognising her partner as the right choice.Why do some parents strongly oppose their child’s partner? Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “A child is a parent’s most prized possession in a general setting. This can make them overly possessive and overly protective about the child, and sometimes one’s own past experiences are reflected in a child’s decision-making. Something that didn’t turn out favourably for them can influence the child’s choice of partner.”Adding to this, Khangarot mentions that parents may also struggle with a loss of control as their child forms an independent identity, which can feel threatening to their sense of relevance or authority. This can unconsciously lead them to magnify flaws or create narratives about the partner to justify their discomfort. “Deep-seated fears around social image, cultural expectations, or family reputation can further intensify this behaviour. In some cases, unresolved emotional wounds, attachment insecurities, or fear of abandonment may surface, making it harder for parents to trust their child’s judgment and accept someone new into the family system,” explains Khangarot. What helps parents eventually accept a partner they once strongly opposed?Over time, Khangarot explains that perspectives can shift as familiarity replaces fear. What often helps parents eventually accept a partner is consistent exposure to the relationship in a safe, non-threatening way. When they see their child feeling secure, respected, and emotionally fulfilled, it challenges their earlier assumptions. Real-life experiences tend to soften rigid narratives more effectively than arguments ever can.Story continues below this adShe adds that trust-building plays a huge role — when the partner makes genuine efforts to connect, show respect, and understand family dynamics, it reduces perceived threat. “Parents also observe stability over time; consistency in behaviour, values, and commitment reassures them that their child’s choice is not impulsive.”“This shift can be encouraged earlier through open dialogue, gradual inclusion, and patience. Instead of positioning it as “us versus them,” creating shared experiences, encouraging honest conversations, and allowing parents to feel heard can ease resistance. Emotional safety, rather than confrontation, is what ultimately helps acceptance grow,” concludes Khangarot.