Nice snark doorknob. That's very different rules than I'm aware of, maybe different states. Vacate notice has to be 30 days, after which you file for eviction in court and it takes like 2 more months before you can physically remove them. I think there is a small fee to file the paperwork but there are no attorneys involved unless they're trying to recoup afterwards. I could be mistaken but what you're saying is way off from what Granny did, and what I had to do to get rid of a roommate.